i'm not lost...i'm actually found

(dino rock)

what a good day. i spent a good portion of it alone in the car, driving to nowhere, listening to blink 182 and thinking about mostly nothing but, at the same time, a lot of everything. i bought a lousy cup of watery coffee and a good map of my state. i didn't find any breath-taking spots to take pictures because i got lost and mainly had to focus on how to get back before my kid got out of pre-school...which was actually what led up to me purchasing the road map...but all-in-all, it was perfect. oh, i guess i did find the tortoise rock however...and i do love tortoises.

so much of my life has been spent looking for something...i'm never sure what it is but, i like the challenge. i like adventures. maybe that's just my niche. looking. there is nothing more fulfilling for me than a cup of coffee, my camera, the open road and well, a map too apparently. the fact that i need a map is what i like though. i'm in someplace new and someplace different. i know a guy who's laughed and rolled his eyes at me for, well, almost half of my life now due to this incessant need to find myself and continue to look for things...but maybe it's just me. it's what keeps me going, i think. when i find everything, i'll have to stop looking--and then what? i'll fizzle out...become monotony...become everything i'm scared of...? probably. that's why the search continues. i don't want to see the world in shades of grey. i think i found me long enough to know that this is who i am...a searcher. a looker. a finder. i like it.

thanks aaron for checking in on me by the way...sorry to pull a 'you' on ya but, i owed you for all the times you've slipped off the grid...i like to keep ya guessing ;)