if you have cake, why wouldn't you eat it too...? oh, it's poisonous.

(in my ramp after an interesting day at work)

one time, a few years ago, this girl i knew looked me in the eyes, over a plate of eggs and bacon (it was a really odd situation--trust me), and whispered, maybe in a different life...

i didn't get it...i mean, i knew what she was talking about but i didn't get it. i wondered why not this life too...you only get one. i think i get it now. i still don't like it though...but, i think, i finally get what she meant.

so what do you do...? flip a coin on how to live this one...? make a list and weigh the options...pro's win...? do it all regardless of others...? talk yourself into one certain course...? follow your heart...your head...? scrap it all, start over...? go back to what your six year old self wanted...? stick with what ya know, blocking out anything else, not questioning anything...?

don't get me wrong, i'm incredibly happy but, i am human. part of being human is to question things, i think, and sometimes the questions on my mind aren't all pink and flowery. sometimes they're disagreeable and consequently bring up things that become quite menacing on my mind but, nonetheless, they're there.

the issue is mainly me here...i'm incredibly flighty and my interests are vast. i really like that about me most of the time. due to that however, i just question a lot and, today, for this minute, that's what's on my mind; so, for this minute, these are the thoughts that i purge.