not sure how to smile and nod here...

(i brought my guy home a gift of chocolate covered potato chips this weekend...my guy, being his typical OCD self, then went out and decided to chocolate cover all KINDS of other thing...)

so, uhm, a while back, i wrote about a friend putting me in a bad position with her kid and boyfriend, etc...things got better. and now, it's back worse than ever.

i have to get this out because i swear, i feel crazy, like i'm missing something.

so for a couple weeks she's been glowing about a new guy. i have been so happy for her. she's taking it slowly, he hasn't met her kid yet, it sounded just like what she needed. i told her how excited i was to meet him and am watching her kid this friday so they can go out.

last night, she made the relationship official via facebook (so, of course, me, and everyone else, started fb stalking) and wow. i mean, outside of the pot smoking comments, rap videos, scuzzy, redneck friends, i found this gem of a photo:

cool. the dude dropped two grand on a gun from a video game. however, the comments below the gun are what totallly alarmed me:

friend: 'dead n%#$er walkin'
boyfriend: 'i hope you're not talking about me. lol'
friend: 'naw, the koon lol'
boyfriend: 'good call!!'

really!? professional, suburban, near 30 yr old, moms are into that??

so, i scrolled down a bit on his page and then saw that he had posted about what a great weekend he had had (my friend posted the same thing), HIS friend responded to that post by saying,

'hahahaha about time u got a piece drunk an sloppy or sober lmao'

that comment is in reference to someone i care about--he responded by asking his friend if he'd been hittin the pipe and his friend said 'not yet,' called him a cracker and let it go.

wow.

so...now, i'm stuck. and i'm feeling like a total jerk but no. i can't do this. i have red flags up all over and i'm not an idiot. she's begged me not to let this first impression ruin it all but knowing that he has a big truck and a fishing boat isn't enough for me to give ANY sort of approval. and having her assurance that her friend wouldn't have hooked them up if she thought he was bad isn't enough either. i just had to back out of babysitting this weekend and i know she's gonna hate me. (also, i won't be here and my guy has said this dude isn't allowed around our daughter and in our home so i'd have to be asking him to babysit so they could go out. that would cause a fight and i'm not willing to risk it...) i reminded her that her family, coworkers, etc...can see his profile and she just responded with, 'oh crap. do you think anyone has seen it?' really!? she knows it's bad but is still trying to convince me he's good?

ugh. i had to write because it's all i can think about lately. i'm being consumed by knowing this is gonna get worse between us before it gets better. we have a wedding to be at this next saturday and it's gonna be weird and i hate weird and i hate conflict and i'm sick about all of it already. ugh. maybe she'll just be like, 'wow! you're right! it's done.' but yeah...something tells me this isn't gonna work that way.

and maybe i'm being a jerk. i mean, maybe his fb is all wrong, but out of the 227 friends i have plus all of her friends...combined, NO ONE would ever say those things...trashy, rascist, ignorant, redneck, people talk like that. i'm completely confused by this...i know my gut but i love her and and trying to be happy she's happy.

sigh.

i'm gonna post some chocolate fruit pics now and go walk my dogs and then ride my bike. i need to clear my head...