happy mothers day

it's that day again. the day all moms are queens and can, without guilt, put off chores and not shower. (okay...well, i maybe threw the shower thing in because any day i have an excuse not to shower is a good day.) ((and also...sure, i put off chores, but it just means i get double tomorrow and get to be behind the rest of the week and feel stressy.)) (((and yes. i love mothers day. i really do. kinda.)))

anyway. i don't know how to call you because i don't know how to make my voice work sometimes...i can write though. everyday, you're in my thoughts in some way...whether i'm finding a mixing bowl at a thrift store, buckling a milk can into my passenger seat or well, doing anything with my own daughter. i'm not sure how relationships work or get messed up or come back together or anything like that...and i don't get how some of the easiest seeming relationships can sometimes be the hardest, but i don't really care either, because honestly, it is what it is.

my kid wiped out and skun up her knee pretty bad the other day and when she stared at it, and touched it, and bent it, and rubbed the rocks out, it hurt. and the more it all hurt, the worse it all felt and the more upset she got. and then, she went to bed and forgot about it...when she got up the next morning, the bleeding was done, a scab was forming and yeah...the injury was there but, being left alone, and having life, and bike rides, happen all over again made that injury fix itself, entirely on its own.

and i'm not saying anything but i am just saying...i miss you in my life.

i love you.