shhh...
don't move too fast.
you'll break the music.
it's flowing so silkily through the air, filling me up with so much beauty and so much passion that i could never begin to put to words...never make the words move in time, filling the silence with memories of days past...and of future memories, of years that will surely pass too quickly with time...
his voice plays with the breeze, flowing as freely as my mind wanders.
he does make you want to caress the air.
and slowly, i close my eyes, and i let the song invade my ears, seeping seamlessly into and out of my pores, all at once, as the notes travel on, to break silently, like bubbles, as they hit the walls that surround me.
if colors were here, if they were real, the room would be filled with softness, and glitter, and bubbles that glimmer with the muted reflection of reality.
soft color, rich color, full color.
and me, in the middle of it all, swirling in my thoughts, swirling in my body,
taking it all in, yet losing so much when my mind undoubtedly wanders off to places it needs not go.
so, again, i listen.
and i hear what i lost the last time.
and i dwell in moments and reminders of emotions that have slowly dissipated with the inevitable passing of time, yet weigh heavily on this heart i hold so closely, yet struggle with so deeply.
like a sponge, dried in the desert, this monsoon of music soaks me with lust and longing.
and alone, in my mind, i get lost within all the commotion.
and i don't know if i'm dry, or if i'm on the verge, or nearing the end.
i just know that i'm here.
in this moment.
being reminded of all that came before this and being foreshadowed with all that will someday come.
i don't know if i should cry with loss, or smile with loss, and smile at fulfillment, or just stare blankly, at the colors and notes that surround me.
my life, so richly upon me, so emptily seducing me...i just feel it.
i feel it all.
and in these moments, i don't know.
and it's okay.
it's simply all okay to look behind and long.
to look ahead and dream.
it's okay to simply, be, in this moment.
i don't need to be beyond this.
i need to dwell in this...
i've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that i almost believe that they're real
i've been living so long with my pictures of you
that i almost believe that the pictures are
all i can feel
remembering
you standing quiet in the rain
as i ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in
holding you close
how i always held close in your fear
remembering
you running soft through the night
you were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
and screamed at the make-believe
screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage
to let it all go
remembering
you fallen into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white
so delicate
lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark
remembering
you how you used to be
slow drowned
you were angels
so much more than everything
hold for the last time then slip away quietly
open my eyes
but i never see anything
if only i'd thought of the right words
icould have held on to your heart
if only i'd thought of the right words
i wouldn't be breaking apart
all my pictures of you
looking so long at these pictures of you
but i never hold on to your heart
looking so long for the words to be true
but always just breaking apart
my pictures of you
there was nothing in the world
that i ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world
that i ever wanted more
than to never feel the breaking apart
all my pictures of you
don't move too fast.
you'll break the music.
it's flowing so silkily through the air, filling me up with so much beauty and so much passion that i could never begin to put to words...never make the words move in time, filling the silence with memories of days past...and of future memories, of years that will surely pass too quickly with time...
his voice plays with the breeze, flowing as freely as my mind wanders.
he does make you want to caress the air.
and slowly, i close my eyes, and i let the song invade my ears, seeping seamlessly into and out of my pores, all at once, as the notes travel on, to break silently, like bubbles, as they hit the walls that surround me.
if colors were here, if they were real, the room would be filled with softness, and glitter, and bubbles that glimmer with the muted reflection of reality.
soft color, rich color, full color.
and me, in the middle of it all, swirling in my thoughts, swirling in my body,
taking it all in, yet losing so much when my mind undoubtedly wanders off to places it needs not go.
so, again, i listen.
and i hear what i lost the last time.
and i dwell in moments and reminders of emotions that have slowly dissipated with the inevitable passing of time, yet weigh heavily on this heart i hold so closely, yet struggle with so deeply.
like a sponge, dried in the desert, this monsoon of music soaks me with lust and longing.
and alone, in my mind, i get lost within all the commotion.
and i don't know if i'm dry, or if i'm on the verge, or nearing the end.
i just know that i'm here.
in this moment.
being reminded of all that came before this and being foreshadowed with all that will someday come.
i don't know if i should cry with loss, or smile with loss, and smile at fulfillment, or just stare blankly, at the colors and notes that surround me.
my life, so richly upon me, so emptily seducing me...i just feel it.
i feel it all.
and in these moments, i don't know.
and it's okay.
it's simply all okay to look behind and long.
to look ahead and dream.
it's okay to simply, be, in this moment.
i don't need to be beyond this.
i need to dwell in this...
i've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that i almost believe that they're real
i've been living so long with my pictures of you
that i almost believe that the pictures are
all i can feel
remembering
you standing quiet in the rain
as i ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in
holding you close
how i always held close in your fear
remembering
you running soft through the night
you were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
and screamed at the make-believe
screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage
to let it all go
remembering
you fallen into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white
so delicate
lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark
remembering
you how you used to be
slow drowned
you were angels
so much more than everything
hold for the last time then slip away quietly
open my eyes
but i never see anything
if only i'd thought of the right words
icould have held on to your heart
if only i'd thought of the right words
i wouldn't be breaking apart
all my pictures of you
looking so long at these pictures of you
but i never hold on to your heart
looking so long for the words to be true
but always just breaking apart
my pictures of you
there was nothing in the world
that i ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world
that i ever wanted more
than to never feel the breaking apart
all my pictures of you
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