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(the studio area i share with my amazing child...this is the work she's pumping out, while sitting quietly, in a room, by herself...)

dear extroverts,

i, as an introvert, have something that i'd like to say. well, actually, a few things...and yes, i know, but despite you thinking it's weird, we internal folk do actually speak from time-to-time, yet we don't need to all the time...like you guys. (and i do have an extroverted side; it's smaller but it's there. it's typically dominant when i'm drinking or when it's required of me. see, after years of being made to feel semi sub-standard and, consequently, self-conscious about my introversion, i developed an abnormal, albeit semi-weird and slightly awkward, outgoing facade; though, when left to my own devices, alone, i am most happy.)

let's see, okay, back on track...where to start? how about i do it like this...

1) i'm not sad, moody, crabby, tired, mad at you, pms-ing, etc, when i just want to be alone. this world is built to cater to extroverts and the majority of careers out there require you speak to many different people, on a daily, if not minutely, basis. i teach preschool. i talk all day to kids, parents, coworkers, superiors and yes, myself too...so, at night, i like being quiet. of course i love hearing about your day but i just prefer to listen, that doesn't mean i'm mad. it means i need that quiet in my head to collect myself and regroup. not caring to talk does not mean there's anything wrong, it means i'm feeling pretty normal.

2) this one's slightly personal, but, kids CAN be introverts too. i have an amazing kid. she's reading at grade levels above her own, has a near perfect year of spelling tests, gets the highest possible marks in phy-ed, art and music, gets kudos from all of her teachers and has wonderful friendships with amazingly sweet friends. her not necessarily wanting to have a friend over, on the weekend, or going over to their house, does not mean she's lazy or that there's anything wrong with her that needs to be instantly corrected. every, single, weekend she's at a friends house or someone is at her house, she is sometimes just happy being reclusive...it's time to recoup. yelling at me how she's just like me is just stupid and makes no sense at all. it's nothing at all to worry about, or yell at me about because, well...go down to number three...i'll continue this rant there...

3) i think this is the biggest issue with you extroverts--you guys all think us introverted peeps need to be fixed! like we're broken or something, or like you guys are right and you need to get us to be like you so we'll be happy too...just.like.you. ya know what though? i am happy. perfectly, completely, content! if you guys would ever stop talking, and listen for once, you'd realize how ridiculous this logic is--it's SO flawed! you guys are just louder and whoever yells the loudest usually wins the fight, so, by nature, you simply assume you're right and we're wrong. you guys are always trying to get us to do these totally unnatural things, which we usually end up doing, but as soon as we want some quiet time to go for a walk with you or something, you scoff at it and complain about the boringness of it all and won't do it...or if you do, you ruin it by talking the entire time. this constant need to change an introvert is such an absurd idea, but it seems engrained in all extrovert's DNA.

4) oh, and just so we're clear on this, i don't need you for my amusement. you may go crazy when left alone for long periods of time but, i don't need your company to be happy. i don't need to have conversation every time you walk into the room. i think more than i talk, deal with it. i have the ability to amuse myself within my own mind...just because you can't hear me, doesn't mean i'm broken or you're not interesting, it just means i'm being me. you can leave me alone for days and i'm completely, totally, fine. it does not mean anything other than i'm normal and content.

okay...that's it. i think i've said what i feel i need to say. i mean, i understand that as an extrovert, you probably can't hear your own thoughts over your incessant ramblings and these concepts are completely foreign to you; but, shut up for just a little bit and think about this stuff the next time you say, 'what's wrong?' or, 'are you tired?' or, 'why are you so crabby?' or, 'what did i do?'

oh. and for the record...this time, i am crabby...hence why i'm speaking about this in the first place. if i was okay, i simply would have been quiet.

sincerely,
annoyed introvert