i fogot how to open the door, maybe?

so, all the above photos are old...but, i've been really creatively crazy feeling (i KNOW the seasons are getting close to changing when i get like this...the change into fall is absolutely the hardest...my favorite type of year. anything for inspiration, anyone who can give that to me, anything that can assist...i love it all.) so yeah, i sat down at my computer last night and realized that i suck and have nothing new to edit; so, out came the hard drive and yeah, been focused on the sky heavy photos lately, hence the above collection.

also, last night, it was pointed out to me that i'm a recluse. and i hadn't thought about it fully, but yeah. i'm incredibly reclusive lately...okay, more than lately, like for a year now, and then some. i try to look at in terms of what i've accomplished in that time, not where i haven't gone or who i haven't hung out with. i mean, the volunteer opportunities, the jobs, the learning w/my photography, right?? it's been two years since i went out dancing and near likewise with the bar/karaoke/social scene. i only go out if i can't be home because there's a guys night happening...and in that case i just drive over to my bff's house and crash there. i go to my cabin too and occasionally, i go thrifting, alone. i don't even throw parties anymore, because it's too many people--though i did make an appearance at my bff's house party a couple weeks ago. that was fun. good times. but, because i forgot how to talk to people, i got really drunk and rambled on all night to a tattoo'd chick who's as odd as me. she's actually pretty much all i talked to. it was also pointed out to me, through a different part of the same conversation, that the only real confidence i have is within what my lens captures. hmmm. not surprising really, i had just never really thought about it before.

i don't know what to do about any of the above found knowledge...nor do i care about it that much. i mean, it's not anything i'm gonna try to do anything about...maybe i'll go out one of these days, or something, but that's about it. fall isn't gonna help this situation though. with my new job, i will have every thursday, day off (i teach one afternoon class), so, maybe i'll make it a point to do something, anything, that day...instead of what i had been planning--talk shows and licorice. (okay. talk shows and licorice once a month, maybe...)