one more try or you go back in a box for good...

so...last time i shot my ae-1 was last spring. well, not like 2011, but like 2010 (yeah THAT last spring). went on a day trip with her, got annoyed with the bag, almost shot through the roll of film and went home. i finished the roll at my cabin, a couple months later, rewound the film and popped the back open. as it turned out, nope, it didn't rewind correctly. i freaked, remembering all i didn't want to lose, and i tried to rewind it again. well, that didn't work either. so, i pretty much had to say goodbye to that roll, after exposing it several times to the light. i didn't cry or anything but i felt like it for a minute, or ten.

anyway, a long time later, like summer of 2011 later, i'm gonna give her another try. i think i'm ready? i guess the pissed off, of that lost roll, finally faded? well, it didn't really, i'm just finally ready to give it another shot. (ha.ha. get it? i know. i know. shut it.) in her bag, i found that old roll and i'm finally ready to attempt to develop it, just in case anything survived. i didn't want to before because of knowing it probably didn't. (i'm weird like that...) well, i'm not for sure i'm ready to see it all gone, but i think the naive hope that something survived is what's driving me this time. i mean, i wasn't in direct sunlight when it the film got exposed...so maybe...?

i think i got her button fixed now, too. the last time she got used was 20, or so, years ago; so yeah, the rewind button on the bottom was gunky and mostly just needed cleaning. i shoulda looked at that in the first place, but i was more concerned with the shutter, lenses and film advancement...

((sigh))

so yes. this time, we're gonna have another go at it. i think i need another day trip with her though. film and the open road has a really wonderful, inspirational feel. maybe a fall trip though this time...?

boomy blogs!

this photo's a special, behind-the-scenes-sneak-peek, into the resurrection of boomy!
(yes. that's a dylan mckay doll and no, he's not wearing pants.)

yup.
that's right.
started talking about it on jan 28, he made a special guest appearance in my 500th blog spectacular and now he's back to bloggin'.

follow this link, or click on his blog over on the right hand side of mine to get to the awesomeness that awaits you.


(okay. fine. i'm a terrible salesperson and no, there's no awesomeness involved actually...just an alcoholic, homemade clay guy with a super big, square head who has a sidekick/bff/companion named jj and does a lot of really stupid things that mess up his life really bad. but, well, it entertains me and that's all that really matters...)

bed. good idea head.

i don't really feel like writing about my weekend tonight. i mean, it was good. better than expected...but it'll take time to make all the words go into place, and yeah. right now, i'm really diggin' simply looking at my photos from it, and listening to the cure, and fallout boy, and breaking benjamin, and blink, and all my usual haunts and i'm really enjoying not speaking.

so yeah. hope ya enjoyed the photos and stuff. too bad ya can't be listening to my awesome musical selection with me--cuz that's where it's at.

okay. it's after eleven and i've mowed, weeded, cut down more little, random trees and been in the sun for a good eight hours plus skipped two meals due to not having time. my brain is fried and my body is tired an i realize i'm not making sense. but...oh. angels and airwaves. i can't live, i can't breath, unless you do this with me...

'night.

(p.s...my fav missed connection in awhile... click here! i mean...seriously, it's awesome. but really messed up :) )

awesomesauce

(so, leaving minneapolis last night, i decided to take the side streets home...i got lost. i found a train though...)

yup. so, here's how awesome i am. i'm layin' here, in bed, still fully dressed--because showering or getting changed seems annoying. i'm watching 'riddles of the sphinx' and reading craigslist, 'missed connections' in between browsing for jobs. also...eating popcorn w/the dog again. and also, wishing i hadn't watched the whole, 'ancient aliens' series, because i really want to watch it again; but, alas, it's too soon. i got photos in the mail today; it was almost like christmas. and at work there's a free roaming fox, which is semi-exciting. and also, this blog is lame. why do i always think, that when i'm at my bordest, my writing will be the best? it never, ever, no matter what i think it could be, is. crap. i just got grease on my keyboard. now i have a case of the shiny keys....though it's not a mystery as to how it got there, so, i spose it's not really a 'case'. okay. i'm gonna go read more craigslist and try not to touch my keyboard. please excuse this waste of your time.

hot air for a cool breeze?

(i hung storage buckets from my window last night because that's what normal crabby people do. i think. i've never been a normal crabby person, so i'm totally just guessin' here...)

well, i'm back on the tracks. i made some popcorn last night, went into bed, split the bowl of it with my dog and watched cheers. currently, i'm eating tuna with apples, onions and cheese in it. it makes for a pretty terrific combo. just ask my taste buds.

so, this coming weekend, i volunteered at this event that's like an hour away from my house. i'm photographing a tea party. i volunteered because i thought it'd be good for me. something forced, by myself, with my camera...with a mini road trip thrown in too. sounds perfect. problem is, i want all of the above except the alone thing. i don't know what's wrong with me, i typically hate people and avoid them at all costs. maybe this is what extroversion feels like? no? this is what weird feels like? cool. that makes more sense. no one can go though. so, not only am i forcing myself to volunteer with my camera, i'm forcing myself to be an introvert? woah. seriously. think about all that. maybe i'm morphing into a complete extrovert? i mean i have a little extroversion in me, but not enough to have it be officially part of my breed though. anyway, yeah. mostly, i'm just weird.

okay...right now, i'm gonna go to minneapolis. i have to drop something off. and i'm bringing my camera, just in case. and then i need milk. and more tuna...

woah. train derailment here...

(a chunk of what my office looked like today. a mess. paint. frames. photos. mess...)

"However, your crass, rude, vulgar words have put me in a SEVERELY horrid mood, so should I choose to act out towards you or any loser in your company next time I see you, just remember why that is."

sigh.

i hate my ex.

i mean, i saw scott pilgrim (awesome flick, btw), and all those stupid exes are like my one, rolled into one. (one of my favorite flicks in forever, now that i think of it.) he's such a douche. (my ex. not scott pilgrim.) the opening of this blog were my favorite lines from our last set of communications. i mean, yes. i won't lie. there was some vulgarity and major bitchiness on my part that lead up to that threat from him, but within two paragraphs, i can make him that mad and he can make me equally as angry...and this is a guy that i haven't seen in well over a year or communicated with since the previous, generic 'merry christmas' text of 2010. i really don't know how that's even possible but, whatever...obviously, it is.

ugh.

it's a good thing there's many miles between us. between pms, a headache and my general crabbiness today, i think i would have attacked him. and, apparently, it would have been likewise.

on the flip side of this, i can't believe i gave into this. sunk to his stupid level. i responded. he knows what to say to invoke the most rage...and he said it all and i totally caved. i suck :( i've ran this scenario in my head, to the best of my ability, at least a hundred times and i've passed it all...but reality happened, and i totally failed. i mean, i didn't factor in pms, or record setting heat that has me climbing the walls since i haven't been out in four days, but still. i shouldn't have responded.

this whole thing has put me in the most cranky mood. my head is all over the place...one part of me is incredibly creatively alive with it all, like i just want to call him and be like...'hey. ignore all that shit for the moment. let's just meet up with our camera's and do something with all this pissed off rage stuff. you film. i'll shoot. it'll be dark and grainy, but that's cool. it'll be real.' then reality becomes, well, reality and i honestly can't do anything other than dwell and be here and use my camera here, for something, though i don't know what, because nothing i see anywhere through my lens even remotely reflects how i feel. this is why i wish i were a painter. i could just do it. just get the emotion on canvas without having to match it with reality. currently, i'm just trying to get drunk and make all this angsty crap go away...the creative surge will die if i make it. eventually. shit. being me so doesn't fit into my life. maybe that's for the better?

i can't tell you what it's like to be in my head. i'm a complete loner in there, taking in friends and making conversation because that's what people do. and i love life and i wholeheartedly enjoy and adore all that's involved with it, but when i swirl into these spirals i spin everywhere and i've never tried to stop. i've only ever tried to squeeze it into my real life, without messing everything up too much--because i fully realize that who i am is messy and i fully realize that i don't want my real life to be messy. squares in circles or something. and yes. i'll get over this so soon, completely, and move on and be normal again. the quicker i train myself to get back to non-spinny, the better. i guess maybe this is the real test... i don't know. i do know you just got a total and complete soundtrack of everything that's been playing itself out in my head with no commercial interruptions. (lucky you!)

i think i need ibuprofin for this headache though.

and maybe to watch scott pilgrim again...

i see/smell/hear/taste/touch dead people...

(99% of the people i've known in life have given me that look...it's typically whenever i open my mouth...apparently my dog thinks the same thing...)

(but, she still loves me :) )

so...i want to write, but i don't have nothin' to say. so, i'm gonna, instead of rambling, focus for a moment on my senses... (yes. senses. because senses are not lame, or boring at all.)

my earballs:
currently, i'm hearing blink sing me a song about toasters and candy and cigarettes and stuff. i'm attempting to tune out the children in my house but, well, they're kids and they're impossible to ever fully tune out.

my nose:
i'm smelling my dog. she seems to think i need her protection at this moment so she's laying at my feet. i'm also smelling the cup of coffee that's been sitting here for three hours. i'm thinkin' it's time to drink this bad boy down...

my mouth:
just tastin' the diet mountain dew i consumed a few minutes ago. i've had three cans of soda today. that's three too many. i went on a monday soda binge apparently.

my touchiness:
eh. mostly feeling the keyboard right now. woah. this IS boring. why did i think my senses thing was a good topic? this is stupid. i thought i could come up with something awesome to write about with each one, but alas, i totally failed. oh wait! i'm only at four. there's five. what's number five? i'll make 5 be awesome, i really will, when i remember what it is, that is. uhm...smell, touch, taste, hearing, uhm...hmmmm...well, let's see here...OH! EYES! SIGHT!

i'm lookin' at:
my computer. yes. i'm looking at my stupid, boring computer. wow. good thing i remembered sight. don't know what this blog would've been without it. hmmm. i guess i'm also lookin' at my office. there was an ADHD storm that happened in here, a category 5. it's all messy. but, eh, feels like home, like my brain. hey wait. isn't there like a 6th sense or somethin? i mean, i know there's a movie...but what is it? intuition or psychic or something?

my 6th sense (minus the dead bruce willis):
uhm. well, my sixth sense is telling me that you've been thinking about someone lately? and that you're wrestling with a decision? and that you should be listening to your sixth sense better, as it's trying to tell you something? okay, okay, okay...so, i'm still not positive what a 6th sense is, or what i even said up there. i mostly thought about the fortune teller in that one episode of, little house on the prairie, and said that kind of stuff. i'm not sure my sixth sense is working, or ever has for that matter.

well, maybe i should have just rambled tonight?? this senses idea was lame-o. maybe if i were cooler, or more interesting, this would have been a marvelous idea, but, well, i'm neither cool nor interesting.

also, if you've never seen that sixth sense movie, please disregard that dead bruce willis comment up there and forget i ever said anything, kapeash??

double also, aka: ppss, i don't really touch dead people, like my title alludes to. i was just trying to be clever. not sound like a sicko.

hey, hey, you, you, i don't like your girlfriend

(my favorite garage sale item. seriously. i hope someone good gets this...)

i'm a gonna plug my stuff again...here goes...

*online*etsy*garage*sale*yay*

see, it occurred to me that i would never buy anything from someone with no feedback, so i should really find a good way to try to get some feedback. right? right! plus, i can clean out my closets. plus, i get to start thrifting in order to redo. plus, it keeps me busy. plus, speaking of plusses, i discovered google+. (plusses looks like a really dirty word. actually, according to that little red, squiggly line underneath it, it isn't really even a word--but, whatevs.)

(google+ really isn't any different from everything else, btw. it just, well, combines everything else. i like it cuz i can see people and things and stuff and that makes me happy :) i like it because i want to build myself more. i don't like it because, really? seriously? why do we NEED this? we don't. but, i'm there...because if i'm not, then i get left behind. and willingly getting left behind, when you're consciously trying to get ahead, isn't cool. it's like self-sabotage on a career path and that's just plain, stupid. unless you want to get fired...then it's smart. but, i want to be my own boss and having to fire myself would, well, just be plain embarrassing.)

anyway. i'm gonna go to bed. i have to work at one, or something...

ps.
i have NO clue why i gave THIS blog, THAT title.

ppss.
i don't actually have a ppss. i just wanted to say that. again.

one terrible story...comin' up!

(the big dog looking for any remnants of her snack after the fire was out...)

**okay. warning. this story starts off like it's gonna be cute, but it gets disturbing...
you have officially been warned.
now read it.
cuz you know you wanna...**

yesterday afternoon, my kid and i were doing some yard work. i decided i wanted to have a fire, due to all the sticks and stuff that have collected from the last few storms and from the time i just decided to randomly cut down trees. (that's a whole other story though...)

it was a good fire. and a big fire...both tall and wide. and it did its job by helping me rid my yard of one of the ginormous piles of sticks/branches/etc. (two left to go.)

after the fire started to dwindle, my kid asked if she could do s'mores. to which i of course, said, 'of course!' so, she got all the stuff, and we found a good stick and she roasted a perfectly golden marshmallow (on her fourth try), and carefully placed it in between the grahams, on top of the chocolate--despite the big dog's attempt to eat it first. and my kid bit into this amazing piece of gooey awesomeness...and as she was doing that, this insane, wayward toad came flying through the grass, at top-toad-speed and lunged right into the fire pit!

i tried, like hell, to get it out with the rake i had; i so just wanted to reach in, with my hands, but i didn't. i was able to pull it out within about three seconds, but it was 2.5 seconds too long. the thing was twitching and stiff all at once. so, we carefully put him over in the cool grass, hoping that he'd just pop back up after cooling down. and we sat there and we watched him for quite awhile...talking about death and wondering why a toad would jump into a fire pit in the first place. the toad never popped back up though. and then we saw the big dog, barreling her big dog self, across the yard to see what we we looking at.

she saw the toad and froze.
and then she sniffed.
and then she layed down by it and poked it a few times with her nose and whined a little.
and then the drool started...and after trying her best not to, she started trying to eat it, like a person eats a chicken wing!
seeing that, caused both my kid and i to yell in disgust and me to immediately, without even thinking about it, pick up this stiff, bloody toad to place in a safe spot.

and so yeah...there we were. the dog was mad at me for being a jerk about her fresh-cooked snack and my kid was still sitting there, in silence, with a soon-to-be-thrown-back-in-the-fire, hardly touched, s'more.

ya know...all your life you picture yourself being a parent, and you think about thousands of different scenario's and things that could potentially happen and how you'd deal with them. but this situation? who the hell could ever picture this?? you can't prepare yourself for that level of ridiculousness. you have no idea the best way to handle it...so you wing it...and you're still half in shock yourself cuz an animal just died in front of you and your kid is crushed and your dog's a jerk, but just being a dog, and you're sweaty and getting bit by mosquito's and bleeding from the tree branch you just ran into because you were trying to quickly separate a bloody toad, from the mouth of your jerk dog, who's currently pissed at you. it's like a made-up story! but who would make that story up in the first place?

ugh.

so, i did the best i could do. i helped the kid search the yard for some baby toad's so the last toad stuck in her mind wasn't a dead one. and i allowed her to bring an injured moth into the house, in a special moth-shoebox-house, without complaining. (despite the grasshopper that had somehow escaped from its grasshopper-shoebox-house the day before--in my office.) i figured having a new little pet to focus on and take care of would be therapeutic. and i let her pick whatever she wanted for dinner...even if it was two corn dogs and string cheese and a sprite.

today she asked if we could have another fire tonight, so she isn't too scarred. (it's raining though, so we have to wait.)

i wonder if she'll ever eat another s'more though...?

(pictured below are my arms. they're a mess. between playing with the dog and the yard work...i look completely tore up...)

a little splash of sunday morning random

well, yesterdays hatred of summer rant was followed up by me trying to celebrate it's beauty? no. not really. i went to check the weather to justify my decision to stay inside all day and i thought, hey, i should send my cotton pic over to the news--since it seemed so fitting with the day. so i did. they posted it within a couple hours. plus, they posted it on their facebook too :)

artists are such quiet narcissists. we're not all about the whole 'look at me' thing unless it's behind the 'look at what we made' thing.

artists are weird. but, somehow, everyone likes 'em. kinda. 'cept the really crazy, drugged out ones and stuff--they get a little scary.

k. i'm gonna go back to uploading video on youtube. the kids in my house have decided to use their webkinz to make videos with and i said i'd get them online; i have a feeling that's all i'm gonna be doing today. i didn't realize they had written note cards, full of ideas, while laying in bed last night... i spose it's okay because i'm not going outside today anyway. it's gross.

etsy update

i love summer. and i love etsy. wait...i hate summer. it's hot and gross and when i take the time to brush my hair it looks awful the second i step outside. (reason number 872 why brushing is stupid.) but, i do love etsy.

etsy is like having a huge communal garage sale and you don't even care about what you're selling anymore, all you want to do is look at what everyone else is selling. there is so much cute stuff on there it makes me want to puke a little. the trick is not buying everyone else's stuff. so much is SO reasonably priced and SO unique! it's like living in one of those cutesy little boutiques you love to shop in but can't afford anything in, only at etsy, you CAN afford things.

i've had good responses with my work, made new connections and was asked to donate a piece to a downtown, silent auction for a sexual violence center's fundraiser...and this is all within less than a week. (which i'm really excited to do! it's a great organization and it is one more place to leave business cards and attempt to make more connections. and besides, which artist wouldn't want to see a piece of their art sitting in a trendy downtown restaurant, being bid on? omg. what if no one bids on it? yikes. that's a possibility. a real one, too. crap. now i'm nervous.)

the coolest thing is though, this has absolutely turned on my brain--like flipping a switch i always thought was there but could never really find because it was dark. i am completely obsessed with marketing, promotions, holiday sales, making smaller things to sell, finding frames to refinish (i was expecting to be starting on that by fall but would like to push it up and start now...after all, it IS garage sale season), making connections and getting myself into the art world more. i'm going to get what i put into this and i love having it all be on me and not having to work with anyone else :) (i'm a terrible person, i know. i just work better alone. when i work with others i typically get overly bossy or step back, letting them make all the decisions so i don't get bossy--either way, i've never completely done my own thing like this and it feels really refreshing.) ((and also, at least i know how i work well. i mean, lots of people never really figure that out. right??))

Etsy Iris!

(screen shot from one of the items i'm selling...)

okay, okay, okay...so, this is kinda lazy, but i already wrote all i want to say over on my other blog and, well, hold on...


copy


and...paste!



as of today, i am officially selling art prints, via Etsy!

i currently have seven different prints listed and depending on how those do, will list more.

also, my personal goal is to combine my insane love of fixing up old things, with my photography.

i have started collecting old, wooden frames with a vintage, rustic feel and pairing them with photos from my collection.
(sometimes repainting, sometimes not...depending on the feel of it.)

eventually, hopefully by fall, i will have enough to put on the market as well.

anyway, check out my site by clicking the photo below!




oh. uhm. oops. in this case, it would be check out my site by clicking on the photo above...

it's probably c.

(the dog and i enjoying a shady, fourth of july, rest...)

so, i was thinkin' and i was thinkin' i haven't had a multiple choice blog in awhile. i mean, i know they're everybody's favorite, and all, so i apologize. obviously, i wasn't thinking...until i started thinkin' about not having one in awhile.

so. without further adieu/rambling/etc...here we go.

q.) this past weekend, the fourth of july weekend, what didn't happen:

a.) i saw baby duck fall from a tree and onto my cousin and then saved another one by netting it while swimming after it.
b.) i had to pull the fur of another dog, out of the teeth of my dog. (the other dog might have maybe been too close to me?)
c.) i got drunk and annoying and ranted about people with fat ears.
e.) i screamed, like a girl, after opening a microwave only to find a two week old piece of banquet chicken that was green and attached to every inch of the microwave.
f.) i nearly puked as i watched my dog eat a piece of the above mentioned chicken.
g.) i left a party because there was a tattooed girl who wouldn't stop talking about her annoying little dog.
h.) none of the above. (logically speaking, this statement does make sense with the original question. because if none of it didn't happen, then that means all of it did happen. see? total sense.)

moral of the story...it was quite a weekend.

(and also, the sentence connected the the letter 'd' was way too confusing with the whole, initial, what didn't i do question so i deleted it. did i watch no icarly, or i didn't watch my usual three episodes a day, or what? it was weird and confusing...even trying to explain it has me all confused.)