(the big dog looking for any remnants of her snack after the fire was out...)**okay. warning. this story starts off like it's gonna be cute, but it gets disturbing...
you have officially been warned.
now read it.
cuz you know you wanna...**
yesterday afternoon, my kid and i were doing some yard work. i decided i wanted to have a fire, due to all the sticks and stuff that have collected from the last few storms and from the time i just decided to randomly cut down trees. (that's a whole other story though...)
it was a good fire. and a big fire...both tall and wide. and it did its job by helping me rid my yard of one of the ginormous piles of sticks/branches/etc. (two left to go.)
after the fire started to dwindle, my kid asked if she could do s'mores. to which i of course, said, 'of course!' so, she got all the stuff, and we found a good stick and she roasted a perfectly golden marshmallow (on her fourth try), and carefully placed it in between the grahams, on top of the chocolate--despite the big dog's attempt to eat it first. and my kid bit into this amazing piece of gooey awesomeness...and as she was doing that, this insane, wayward toad came flying through the grass, at top-toad-speed and lunged right into the fire pit!
i tried, like hell, to get it out with the rake i had; i so just wanted to reach in, with my hands, but i didn't. i was able to pull it out within about three seconds, but it was 2.5 seconds too long. the thing was twitching and stiff all at once. so, we carefully put him over in the cool grass, hoping that he'd just pop back up after cooling down. and we sat there and we watched him for quite awhile...talking about death and wondering why a toad would jump into a fire pit in the first place. the toad never popped back up though. and then we saw the big dog, barreling her big dog self, across the yard to see what we we looking at.
she saw the toad and froze.
and then she sniffed.
and then she layed down by it and poked it a few times with her nose and whined a little.
and then the drool started...and after trying her best not to, she started trying to eat it, like a person eats a chicken wing!
seeing that, caused both my kid and i to yell in disgust and me to immediately, without even thinking about it, pick up this stiff, bloody toad to place in a safe spot.
and so yeah...there we were. the dog was mad at me for being a jerk about her fresh-cooked snack and my kid was still sitting there, in silence, with a soon-to-be-thrown-back-in-the-fire, hardly touched, s'more.
ya know...all your life you picture yourself being a parent, and you think about thousands of different scenario's and things that could potentially happen and how you'd deal with them. but this situation? who the hell could ever picture this?? you can't prepare yourself for that level of ridiculousness. you have no idea the best way to handle it...so you wing it...and you're still half in shock yourself cuz an animal just died in front of you and your kid is crushed and your dog's a jerk, but just being a dog, and you're sweaty and getting bit by mosquito's and bleeding from the tree branch you just ran into because you were trying to quickly separate a bloody toad, from the mouth of your jerk dog, who's currently pissed at you. it's like a made-up story! but who would make that story up in the first place?
ugh.
so, i did the best i could do. i helped the kid search the yard for some baby toad's so the last toad stuck in her mind wasn't a dead one. and i allowed her to bring an injured moth into the house, in a special moth-shoebox-house, without complaining. (despite the grasshopper that had somehow escaped from its grasshopper-shoebox-house the day before--in my office.) i figured having a new little pet to focus on and take care of would be therapeutic. and i let her pick whatever she wanted for dinner...even if it was two corn dogs and string cheese and a sprite.
today she asked if we could have another fire tonight, so she isn't too scarred. (it's raining though, so we have to wait.)
i wonder if she'll ever eat another s'more though...?
it was a good fire. and a big fire...both tall and wide. and it did its job by helping me rid my yard of one of the ginormous piles of sticks/branches/etc. (two left to go.)
after the fire started to dwindle, my kid asked if she could do s'mores. to which i of course, said, 'of course!' so, she got all the stuff, and we found a good stick and she roasted a perfectly golden marshmallow (on her fourth try), and carefully placed it in between the grahams, on top of the chocolate--despite the big dog's attempt to eat it first. and my kid bit into this amazing piece of gooey awesomeness...and as she was doing that, this insane, wayward toad came flying through the grass, at top-toad-speed and lunged right into the fire pit!
i tried, like hell, to get it out with the rake i had; i so just wanted to reach in, with my hands, but i didn't. i was able to pull it out within about three seconds, but it was 2.5 seconds too long. the thing was twitching and stiff all at once. so, we carefully put him over in the cool grass, hoping that he'd just pop back up after cooling down. and we sat there and we watched him for quite awhile...talking about death and wondering why a toad would jump into a fire pit in the first place. the toad never popped back up though. and then we saw the big dog, barreling her big dog self, across the yard to see what we we looking at.
she saw the toad and froze.
and then she sniffed.
and then she layed down by it and poked it a few times with her nose and whined a little.
and then the drool started...and after trying her best not to, she started trying to eat it, like a person eats a chicken wing!
seeing that, caused both my kid and i to yell in disgust and me to immediately, without even thinking about it, pick up this stiff, bloody toad to place in a safe spot.
and so yeah...there we were. the dog was mad at me for being a jerk about her fresh-cooked snack and my kid was still sitting there, in silence, with a soon-to-be-thrown-back-in-the-fire, hardly touched, s'more.
ya know...all your life you picture yourself being a parent, and you think about thousands of different scenario's and things that could potentially happen and how you'd deal with them. but this situation? who the hell could ever picture this?? you can't prepare yourself for that level of ridiculousness. you have no idea the best way to handle it...so you wing it...and you're still half in shock yourself cuz an animal just died in front of you and your kid is crushed and your dog's a jerk, but just being a dog, and you're sweaty and getting bit by mosquito's and bleeding from the tree branch you just ran into because you were trying to quickly separate a bloody toad, from the mouth of your jerk dog, who's currently pissed at you. it's like a made-up story! but who would make that story up in the first place?
ugh.
so, i did the best i could do. i helped the kid search the yard for some baby toad's so the last toad stuck in her mind wasn't a dead one. and i allowed her to bring an injured moth into the house, in a special moth-shoebox-house, without complaining. (despite the grasshopper that had somehow escaped from its grasshopper-shoebox-house the day before--in my office.) i figured having a new little pet to focus on and take care of would be therapeutic. and i let her pick whatever she wanted for dinner...even if it was two corn dogs and string cheese and a sprite.
today she asked if we could have another fire tonight, so she isn't too scarred. (it's raining though, so we have to wait.)
i wonder if she'll ever eat another s'more though...?
(pictured below are my arms. they're a mess. between playing with the dog and the yard work...i look completely tore up...)
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