weird science is such a great flick...

i'm watching it for my first time right now. i know...only like 20 years too late but whatever.

ms. tramell...are you done yet?

(that moth from yesterday lives under this tree...i would live there too if i were a moth. it's pretty)

pointless internet rant that nobody cares about coming up in...

three

two

one...

i think celebrities who babble just because they're celebrities should be booted off to some far away island never to be seen again. i mean, sure, i get it...you're famous, so you know people will have to listen, but that doesn't mean you should talk. and i know that you probably enjoy the echo of your own voice when you shout your stupidness throughout a highly annoyed society but still, that does not mean you should.

ms. sharon stone, thank you for inspiring this rant today, though it's not just you who's guilty of this trend, epidemic if you will, you're just the latest idiot. and no, i've never liked you and your crappy movies anyway because well, they're just that, crap (all right, i'll give you casino but only because it was a scorsese flick). i've never cared for your over inflated sense of self or your hideous sense of 'fashion', and what, pray tell, about the script for basic instinct two made you jump up and say, yes, i'll do it...this one's a real winner...because i really think i missed that part of the movie. (yeah whatever, i know it wasn't the plot--but instead the nearly 14 million dollar paycheck you received for reprising that washed up character. did that movie even make that much money? did ya get some fancy new leopard print clothes with that money at least?)

look, i may have a bit of a chip on my shoulder today and yeah, i'm exhausted, but really...? i just hate celebrities with their mouths that stretch wider that the eerie canal. i have no clue how wide the eerie canal is. i think 15 miles due to that song i played on my clarinet in fifth grade, but seeing how that was in fifth grade, i'm probably completely wrong...oh wait...i am on the internet. wikipedia, here i come. please hold...

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all right. here's what i found out...i am WAY off. first the spelling is like this, erie canal. initially it was 40 feet wide when construction was completed in 1825. it was widened a couple times over the years and today it's 120 feet wide...no where near 15 miles...oopsie. i did find out that that figure probably derived from 1819 when the first 15 mile stretch was completed, connecting rome n.y. to utica.

either way, what was i talking about...oh yeah, sharon stone. i just don't like her and all of those other celebrities with their 120 foot wide mouths and all. will somebody please stick a log hauling barge in there...?

on the fence with this one...

(poor little thing almost got clipped by the weed whip)

so far, i'm deleting it...

trust me y'all...ya didn't miss much. more whining and more of me grasping firmly onto and, tightly securing my little corner of the crazy market. on the bright side, my quaint corner crazy stand is doing quite nicely. ya know...branching out, reaching into the community and finally turning a profit. all right...no it's not, that's the little hot dog stand by my work but whatever.

good bye twizzlers...see ya in fourteen

after sunday's breakfast of egg rolls, a nutty bar and a mountain dew, i decided i think i need to healthen myself up a tad. so, for the next two weeks i plan to eat nothing but simple, nutrient rich foods...like the ones depicted on that food pyramid thingy.

oh, and there's this motivation: we're having a get together in two week. i'm not expecting to lose noticeable weight or anything but at least i can feel good while meeting a lot of new people and seeing so many old. yesterday was great, i do have to say, i ate all of the crap in my house. i had chocolate for lunch and dinner and then a pizza for my second dinner...but then there's today. shit.

see, i'm not a dieter, i don't even own a scale, but i am a pretty active and i am a healthy eater...well, most of the time....lately, not so much. i just know that if my normal pants start to feel a little snug i should probably re-evaluate what i'm eating until they start to fit nicely again; so, to be making myself eat properly...well, dammit, it's hard. i keep telling myself that's it's only two weeks of rice, veggies, bread, cheese, beans and fruit (that all sounds SO good though...it's just so hard to stick to it when that twix in the vending machine is calling my name). i'm allowing myself a little dark chocolate, due to it being my favorite, and one regular soda a day...i need to get off that diet crap...it gives me headaches. i really hope i can more permanently ditch the chemical-ridden foods, but that's a whole nother story. anyway...i'm half way through the food portion of day number one and i'm not diggin this at all. i'm such a baby, i know, but going from 2000 daily calories of whatever the hell i want to 1500 regimented and healthy calories...well, it's a little culture-shockish. i keep reminding myself of the whole, it's only two weeks thing but i know deep down it should be more of a permanent change and i think that's why i'm being so whiny about this. i will miss my licorice the most. especially pull and peel because it's so delicious, and cherryish, and chewy, and red and delicious....oh yeah, mentioned that one already...it really is though. oh, and cookies, i love them so much. oh yeah, and jelly belly jelly beans...they're my favorite, well, except for them evil little popcorn ones, they're nasty, you should see my face when i accidently eat one...

thanks vets...because of you i can be as odd as i like

(after the storms on sunday)

(the birthday cake from saturday)

this weekend was so great (for lack of a better, more descriptive word due to sleep deprivation). i fished and caught nothing but had fun. i drank enough beer to make me have to close one eye to see rock band clearly. i passed out on a couch and then the next night in a chilly tent. i got muddy and lost my dog...whom a neighbor later found and graciously brought back (though, after five minutes with my dog most anyone would bring him back). i sat by a bonfire, saw more stars than i have seen in quite some time and cooked meat. i think it was ok, no one got sick so i'm guessing it was fine (vegetarians and meat are a bad combo all around)...my corn was delicious anyway; and, i got so cold i had to walk around with goosebumps for two solid hours but, with hot fresh coffee in hand, the chill was manageable. it is so nice to be home now though...sober, warm, clean, dry and home. i like it.

happy memorial day weekend...now, go drink a beer

(i thought it was time i took some night pics of flowers...ya don't see too many of those. i usually pair flowers and sun...go figure)

i suppose i should warn you: i will be gone for a couple days. like, no internet access gone. isn't that sad...? i know...you'll have to be strong though. if you do miss my nonsensical rants...you can just do what i do to pass the time until my return...

get tired, get crabby, then sit down in front of your computer and start typing whatever comes to mind. write for a few minutes until you get distracted by something that makes you feel more crabby then call it a night. you'll be me in no time.

was i too self deprecating tonight? was it like weird or was it kinda ok? i'm tired. sooooo tired.

this whole garage cleaning thing is wearing me out...

(had the best server at this restaurant today)

...like really bad.

we moved in in october and like two days later, winter set in. all of our old boxes--unsorted boxes, empty boxes and junk boxes have all been sitting, ignored since then. some of them have been rifled through over the winter, others haven't been opened in years...both scenarios are equally annoying, as they both require their own special amount of work to determine if the contents are keepers or not.

anyway...this week was the week we chose to tackle it all. sorting, cleaning, disposing of or selling...it's such a sucky way to spend your time off.

i hate decisions.
i hate all the dirt.
i hate all my new cuts and bruises.
i hate how exhausted i am but i especially hate the fact that we're still not done.

are we done yet?

(my pups kept invading my pics at the exact wrong time...i kinda liked this one...my little ghost dog)

(.19 cent christmas lights from super clearance january...i just knew i needed them for something)

spent four hours cleaning the garage tonight. made it worse. damn. have to go back tomorrow for more. super damn.


i just wrote that in short hand...maybe. is that's what it's called? i have no idea why i did...it just seemed like the right thing to do. i do believe it's quite obvious that i inhaled too much dust tonight.

my little panda flower

whew...i still have the long term at least

(remembering the popsicle stick puzzle your aunt made you like 25 years ago can sure give you inspiration on a rainy day with a bored five-year old)

some sundays aren't so much fun days

(my dad came by and we got the kid a glove...that made my day better...)

1:14 pm

i am so crabby today. most of it, i'm sure, is a direct correlation with my disgust of anything remotely healthy. oh, food wise this time i mean. it's getting pathetic. i just want to lay in the sun and eat junk food, mostly chocolate, all day long (if you do that though, as i found out, the chocolate becomes quite melty, quite fast--even if it is cool out temperature wise).

i do not want to be interrupted.

i do not want to be so much as looked at.

i do not want to fix my hair today. i am fine with the greasy mess of frizziness i just pulled back into a disheveled something-or-other that may or may not slightly resemble a ponytail. (note the emphasis on the word slightly.)

i do not want to hold conversation for i have nothing to say but grumble and i definitely, i repeat definitely, do not want to leave this house. well, i did go to target this morning--mostly in order to fuel my new found dependency on crap food. if it weren't for my dark chocolate desires i never would have willingly left my bed. ooh, i like that. dark chocolate desires. it sounds like the name of a lonely ladies book or something. or maybe a cookbook found in a trendy little boutique...i can picture it now...it would be right next to the dirty girl soap section.

so, now i'm home and i should be doing stuff but i'm not. i took out chicken for the family for dinner (i'll probably eat marshmallows though) and i did one load of laundry. in a little bit i will go pull a weed from my garden and then i plan on calling it a day.


8:38 update:

i am better now. for now. my dad came over. we played in the yard and went to the park to watch people play softball. it turned out pretty good. i still refuse to fix my hair though...and it's only become worse as the day has went on. oh, and i did not eat marshmallows for dinner...i had three day old pizza instead.

it's been an above average day

(city roof tops. i just love them)

some nights...this is all you get. lucky ducks.

(not the best but it is what it is. oh, what is it you ask? good question...i'm not sure either)

i'm tiring of the city shots as well but, i'm tired

normal is what normal does. i'm not sure what that means either.

(little yard flowers...i like them. i like a lot of things today, not my sandwich for lunch though, that was gross)

on my walk into the museum today, i got to thinking. i've been doing a lot of that lately but, in my pursuit to avoid the things i should be thinking about, i started thinking about my artist friends. i have a handful of them i talk to on a fairly regular basis, though i'm not incredibly close to any of them.

um...so, what was i getting at?

oh yeah...so, i started noticing a correlation between them all. they all started off normal. no, not as babies or anything (well, they might have been normal then, i just didn't know them), but as young adults...and no, not that they're that abnormal now or anything, i mean they're mostly functional members of society whom simply have a tendency to go a tad bit insane here or there. but, when they started out their young adult lives, they all went overboard in trying to fit in to the general public by doing incredibly cliche general public sorts of things.

i mean, maybe it was for the look, hell, they are artists. maybe it was due to the parental figures in their life telling them to grow the hell up; or, maybe it was under the stress of the, 'oh shit, i'm 20 years old', deadline they imposed upon themselves...i don't really know. i do know that despite the mini van's, marriages, armed forces adventures, 9-5 jobs, corporate ladder climbage and college credits, all of these people chose divorces, awol's, firings, quittings and drop outtings instead. (wow, i just made up a lot of words. you should see all the mini red dots underlining the words in that last sentence, i think i might have set a personal record.) anyway, they all willingly walked away from their 'normal' lives in hopes of re-claiming who they were in the first place. i like it. i probably wouldn't like them as much if they drove the mini vans and such.

they're all so much more happy now...like genuinely happy. well, they're drunk mostly and oh yeah, high too but still, all in all, damn do they produce some good shit...and damn do they laugh a lot.

i was thinking all of this while walking this morning. it was a good walk, as most of my walks into work are. thank you crazy art buds who make me feel normal this morning.

but officer, i swear, the syringes are for teeth whitening

(when i am freed from work early...i explore the city...i just need to be freed first)

the things my guy is doing right now are so ridiculously absurd, you probably wouldn't believe me if i tried to explain them. all i have to say is hun, you really need to close the curtains at night. our neighbors will be calling the police soon if you don't. on the other hand, you are freakin hilarious.

oooh. sorry readers. that was kinda like an inside joke and i hate inside jokes. they're never funny when you're on the outside and when you're the one on the inside, you still can't laugh as hard as you may want because it's kinda a jerk move to the person on the outside. it's kinda like a math problem...one of the many i never got the right answer for...and trust me, there were many. many, many, many, etc...(times infinity). what, that makes no sense? eh. i know--and that wasn't even an inside joke, i just made it up now. apparently, i'm about as good as making up jokes as i am at solving math problems.

i know. i know. more pointlessness out of me. go freakin figure.

i am so brave. b-r-v-e.

last night, i actually woke myself up screaming from nightmares. so today, i decided to go down in my dad's basement...alone (usually i make the dog go down with me...but i was feeling brave, plus, she was outside...poopin). i didn't have bad dreams about that basement, hell, i never have, but for some reason it's petrifying to me. nothing bad has ever happened there and i have no real reason to fear it, but, for all of my life, (including my adult life) it has been...well, just plain scary. i love it down there as much as i fear it...i'm like that with a lot of things in life i spose.

happy mothers day...especially to all those who never really get a day off.

(i got a treasure box full of origami decorations and a homemade book for mothers day; it was beautiful. then, i scrubbed the toilet and did laundry)

out on the road today i saw a black flag sticker on a cadillac

(more of my city pics...inspiration struck the other day, or something like that)

that song has been circulating through my brain since breakfast. the atari's version, not mr henley's though. you think it would be driving me insane, but i'm surprisingly cool with it actually. i've kind of enjoyed the company.

i'm tired.

13 years later...i am done. ok, you can stop cheering now

(i'm loving the city this week)

i am having such a lousy day emotionally. remember all that 'why can't we be friends, make art, blah blah blah' shit from the other day...? yeah, well i take it all back. you are insane. you are a mess. you are violent and you are explosive. *whew* if i ever think we could be friends, please, someone remind me of this day.

like i told you, if i never see you again, it will be too soon.

other than that...yeah. so...um....how bout them twins? heard we're supposed to get rain tomorrow. going fishing this weekend? um...ok, that's all the small talk i have i guess.

i have no clue how to sleep tonight tonight...i'm really shook up right now. i brought this all on myself, so i can't really bitch too much, but still, that doesn't effect how real this is. i keep thinking of the best excuse to get me out of work tomorrow, but i'm probably being paranoid. i'm hoping i sleep tonight...that's all i guess...i think i'm going to keep the lights on though.

have i wrote three times yet this week...?

(i do enjoy my time in the city...it's a beautiful place if you let it be)

yep.

i did.

does this count as four now...?

even though this is all i plan to write...?

eh, it does for me. i'm such an over achiever.

oh, and i got passed by two red cars on my way home today because i was doing 60 in a 65, due to trying to sniff my tongue. don't ask...i'm not even sure why i told.

i had this mini surge of patriotism while photographing this

i'm gonna start leasing my friends

(i love my centerpiece so much...dead dandelions and broken petunias. seriously. i couldn't ask for a better one!)

so first today i send the wrong text to the wrong person. i just dialed the wrong number and hit send....after hitting send, i had a mini heart attack and nearly busted my phone trying to cancel something that was inevitably going to end up in the wrong inbox anyway. i do believe the little red button on my phone is now an innie. i did learn that apparently 'women are really good at stabbing guys in the heart and then blaming them so they don't feel bad', and while 'spitting my venom', i was told i haven't changed since i was 15. (look, dude, i am really sorry but you didn't have to be such a spaz. seriously. it was a pretty minor thing in the big scheme of things. it wasn't like i detailed sexual positions or anything. and no, i don't keep you around to torture and humiliate you...that's why i keep that monkey locked up in my attic. you have no idea how bad i feel about it, seriously though.)

then, after all the shit settled and i started feeling a little better about my loser self, i ate lunch. it was great but at the end, for some reason, i really wanted a twix so i figured eh, why the hell not...? so, i go to the vending machine and guess what?

i pushed the wrong buttons. i ended up with a king size reeses.

i hate peanut butter. i really do. the smell, the texture, the after taste...i hate it all. but, out of spite, i ate it anyway. i ate the whole damn, king-sized, sandy-peanut butter-filled, generic chocolate disc of nastiness and i did it because, well, because it felt oddly right or something.

now, for the rest of the day, as i reek of peanut butter, i am going to try my hardest to make a list of all the ways i'm better now than i was when i was 15--just to make myself feel better. i'm sure there's one or two ways i'm better...i can drive now at least.

damn long-term relationships...they can throw that shit back at you like no one else can and mean it. i guess that when someone has to put up with your bullshit for nearly half of their life they get that right here and there. i know it's a long shot, but i would like nothing more than to smoke a bowl while re-arranging furniture and discussing the awesomeness of jabbawockeez again...i'll pack the pipe next time. (sorry anti-drug america. every now and then, an old friend and an ancient herb make for a great afternoon.)





p.s.
can't we simply be friends? could we at least try...minus the theatrics? or, is that even possible anymore? we used to be so cool, i miss it; how did shit get to this...? i'm probably delusional...i mean, i am talking to myself here, but i really want to just hit rewind...impossible as that may be. could we at least throw some of that passion into our art or something...vent that way maybe...do something positive together? you write, i'll proof, you can film, i can snap and together we can sit back and watch...
-iris





i know i sound insane. this day hasn't been at all brilliant in the least...

i thought the kid should get a blog of her own...mostly cuz i'm lazy

(i painted this bench yellow on sunday. in the sun it looked just like police tape. then, i painted it smurf blue instead...i now know why the paint was on clearance...good thing i'm a smurf fan)

'staple removers don't work on just paper. i tried. i tried with that one right there and it just went *snap* and put holes in the paper. it didn't work.'

-said by the kid during breakfast.

thanks for nothin old man petrov

i always know spring is here when my shot glasses are being used to hold dandelions instead of the vodka i use to keep warm all winter. i also keep some in a flask inside my fur-lined parka, so when i'm out tending to my herds, in a blizzard, in the arctic depths of january, i can keep my toes from losing all feeling, succumbing to frostbite, having to be amputated by old man petrov down the way with his rusty scissors and then dying from the gang green that would inevitably claim my frigid, drunken life.

all right. all right. that story was completely fake. i made it all up. i don't even drink.

well, i do, but it's rare. i do idiotic things while under the influence. one time, i rode my best friend's eight year olds bike down the hill of their driveway with my pants off (i was hot). i fell off in the middle of the street, because i tried to turn too sharply, and skinned my knee to a bloody pulp. then i puked.

that last story, well that was a true story unfortunately.

flowers and bowls. garage sales are cool :)

jesse vetura is awesome...

(the pics i took today made me look a tad bit skanky, so you get this...lucky ducks)

...he's on leno right now...i'm not just laying in bed fantasizing about him. i like him but not that much. sorry mr. body. you did get my vote though...

funny how it takes an ex pro-wrestler who now lives in mexico to make any sense when speaking about our political system...he makes more sense than anyone i've heard in so long.

thanks dude...now move back here to the colonies and make a change please...

it's cold and rainy and snowy and garage sale season

(this was from just a few weeks ago...but, since there's a chance of snow in the forecast, i figured it was appropriate)

my city is having their annual city wide garage sales this weekend. i was so excited until i heard about the weather for the next couple of days. eh, i guess i prefer this over 90 and humid. i did figure out what i'm going to do for mother's day. i'm going fishing. it's the opener and it's callin my name...screw brunch. yeah, that's right...screw you and your little bunches of purple grapes and non-veggie friendly quiche. yeah...take that. i'm going fishing and i might just smell like worms when i'm done. yeah. that's right...worms. hah!