(this is not a ford advertisement...i swear)today makes yesterday's emotional roller coaster seem like a breath of fresh air. so how have i coped you ask...well, i pretend you ask for the sake of this blog...by eating, that's how. only every now and then do i do that, it's a special coping mechanism reserved for super hard stuff. i've probably put down 2500 calories today...ok, so i didn't eat that much...it's just that 80% of those calories came in the form of sugar.
see that licorice in my hand up there...? well, that's the licorice that almost made me crash my truck. how, you ask (in my imagination)? oh, i'll tell ya how...see, it's cold, today made it to 10 i think, and i left a bag of pull-and-peels in my truck all day. well, after work, i got in my vehicle and REALLY wanted one but, because of the cold, they were rock hard. so, without thinking twice, i stuck a piece in between my thighs to let it warm up. that would have been fine, except i drive a stick, and that stick requires a clutch, which requires me to move my legs a lot, which makes it hard to keep anything tucked in between the old thighs. but, being that my day had been difficult, i found it more important to keep warming the licorice up to a chewable temperature than it was to drive safe. so, when i saw a red light, i slowly and carefully went to hit the clutch, throw the truck into neutral, push the brake and come to a stop...unfortunately, it went more like this...slowing, slowing, slowing, OMG THAT CAR AHEAD OF ME IS REALLY CLOSE NOW...HIT THE BRAKE FAST!! so, i did; i hit the brake, dropped my licorice, and got pissed because now i had sandy licorice. when i picked it up though, i was pleasantly surprise to find that now it was at a chewable consistency and i could eat it! oh, i was also really grateful that i didn't crash into that car ahead of me. that would have made me eat like another thousand calories today...
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