i love life. but...alas, it gets weird sometimes.

shakes ya so bad ya physically tremble.
when you don't see things coming and then you nearly run right into them and the only response your body has is to get so nervous you almost throw up on someone's art.
that's okay though.
i spose.
i mean...i didn't. puke. i just ran out the door and smoked a cigarette and called a best friend who always seems to get it, instead. how she just 'gets' it and is always a speed dial away is amazing. for over half my life she's been that speed dial away. and i hid. that always seems to work too.
and now, i'm breaking my sobriety and have become a smoker apparently.
aargh.
so, i write. as i've done my entire life to somehow try to make something make some sort of weirdo sense.
i write in discombobulated sentence fragments and i feel somehow like me...but like i died and am looking at me as i float away.
wow.
that was a morbid thought.
but...as i drink my brandy and try to collect myself...that's all i see.
and i listen to music. like always.
currently, foster the people. before...it was mumford and before that, well, idk...i don't remember.
i know adele played into my ears this evening at the most perfectly placed, movie soundtrack timing...but, other than that.
yeah.
it's a blur.
i used to be hungry. as i forgot to eat dinner. but, well, that feeling got swallowed up by a million other feelings.
bringing me back to brandy and cigarettes.
life, in the eyes on an artist, in the eyes of me, is insane.
and it does things to you that you don't get.
but make sense.
somewhere.
in the big scheme of things...it's all, well, perfect.

AND...on a totally related note...i went out tonight.
i went out to the art show, in the city and i saw my friend's art, hanging on a wall.
it was perfect.
and i now, have a place to go to, in upstate new york, if i ever want to go.
and i met a guy in a budweiser sweater with a handlebar mustache who played pinball, semi-professionally...as well as the banjo.
and i fit right in.

and...i was asked to never stop doing what i do because i inspire an amazing artist to never stop doing what he does.
artists are so subtlety competitive.

and yeah...i'm gonna go to bed.
i have to be an an art fair in a little bit...