they're eyeballs...

(the bowl of squishy balls at my desk...i want to bathe in them...kinda)

my week of accruing crabby finally exploded into me entering a terribly un-healthy drunken stupor...that eventually left me exploding in my truck on the way home.

here's the story in an egg shell. nut shell, whatever.

friday night, i went to see a show at this dirty little bar...but due to my wandering legs, flighty mind and rambling mouth, i missed the whole damn thing. after the one dirty bar we went to another dirty bar where i drank some more, but smoked even more. in fact, i think i caught myself some cancer at that bar. i talked to this one boy a lot because he made me feel good..he has more issues with someone no good for him than i do with someone no good for me. i actually clung to him just to make him keep telling me all about it...it was terrible of me. i almost made him cry at one point with my incessant digging into his life but i kept going. every time he talked about his screwed up relationship i felt a little better about mine. it was quite therapeutic. i thought i had just met him that night but, according to my sister, i've actually known him since 1998 and was even at his house a couple times. i kinda feel like an idiot now...at least i know why we got along so good. woops. that totally explains the awkward silence when i blurted out, 'god i can't believe i just met you...it seems like i've known you forever.' (don't worry, i cured that awkward feeling by blasting through it with more rambling about nonsensical garbage.) i met some other super people who seemed like they would be fun to get together with again, and for me, that says a lot. i normally can't wait to be done with people.

saturday, i woke up after a very minimal amount of sleep with one shoe still on (i had never even attempted to untie it) and dried puke on my pants, but damn was i in a good mood. i am embarrassingly swell at living life at a drunken washed up rockstar kind of level.

i wanted desperetly to go out again last night, and would have--had it not been with the dude from the relationship i had tried drunkenly to work through completely the night before. i figured it wouldn't have been the smartest move in the world on so many levels...so i whined about being single and what not then passed out...

about the whole lack of postings thing btw...i've just have a few bigger fish to fry and some shit that needed/needs to be dealt with. unfortunately, with my inability to be home for more than four waking hours a day, nothing gets dealt with if i'm staring at the computer screen...ya know...?