i was hoping for the ships scenario

a late night call, from a late night friend, who's lost in a world that seems a million miles away was what tonight held.

laying in the desert, he talked about the stars; and sitting on my patio, i talked about the chicken pox. every now and then, silence conquered the line as, i think, we'd both pause and try to picture where the other one was--and maybe even catch a whiff of their air. mine familiar to him, his exotic to me...i think, in a way, the vicarious way we live through each other is what keeps us close--despite the days without calls and weeks without e-mail as of late.

tonight, he talked about his future and thanked me for the friendly voice; i talked about my present and thanked him for the same. he asked me what my week held and how things were going and i asked him the same.




*pause*

you have no idea the stars out here, it's insane...and the days are so hot. only 22 more days till i leave...i should be home in april or may sometime. i'm not sure about that whole re-enlisting thing anymore. i'm not really nervous yet actually; i just want to leave. i hate this waiting.

*pause*

yeah, i spose...what's the point of getting nervous, huh? it's not like you have a choice. i know it'll fly by...look how fast these last few years went. remember how pissed i was when you told me you enlisted for five? you should see the moon right now. it finally cooled off; it was like 90 and humid today. 94 actually, i think...maybe.

*pause*

yeah. i'll be like 30 soon. that's a big deal. i just want something to kind of fall into my lap you know...?

*pause*

i hear ya. i think we all want that.

*pause*

yeah.

*pause*

this shit sucks.

*pause*

i can't even imagine dude.

*pause*

yeah. well...i spose. you should get to bed...it's what, 11:30 where you're at? i actually get to sleep till 7 tomorrow.

*pause*

yeah. you should really get some sleep too. i know i should go to bed, though i know i won't. sleep good...sweet dreams.

*pause*

you too...




i didn't think this would be this hard for me. but after almost ten years of talking almost every day, at least once, this is something that came more like getting the wind knocked out of me than simply watching the ships sail from the coast.