i just walked out. the job in my letter to parents a few blogs down...yeah. i just left. i've never walked from a job before...but going back wasn't even an option.
on top of all i listed the other day, here was my morning:
-had 15 kids, alone, by 7:15. (10 is the legal limit.)
-split my group of younger children off, and headed to our room. (6 kids)
-had a peaceful, quiet, breakfast and had a brand new boy so i was trying to help him, show him the ropes, etc...
-after breakfast, started an art project with the ones who wanted to. let the others go play.
-discovered that 1 of my kids had liquid diarrhea.
-more kids show up. feed them. (8 total)
-was given a toddler, so she could 'try' out the big kid room. (in the way my center director shuffles, i'm sure her room was just full.) (9 kids. 8 preschool, 1 toddler)
-toddler freaked out. big kids surrounded her and wanted her to play. couldn't do much to help because of changing another diaper and explaining to a girl why climbing up on tables isn't smart.
-director popped in, sees toddler standing by the door crying and says, 'oh bell! aren't you having fun!? but it's so fun in here! don't cry! pretty soon you can be in here all the time!' tells me i can bring her back to her room whenever my 10th kid shows up. closes the door and walks away. i clean up breakfast...finally.
-10th kid shows up. i'm trying to converse with the parent and break up an argument with two of the high risk-behavior kids. at this time, i also realize that the second kid of the day needs all new clothes because of diarrhea--clothes that mom never brought...despite the numerous times i had asked. (10 kids. at legal limit)
-11th and 12th kid show up. the 12th kid was another teacher's kid. she just dropped him off and left. i get most of the kids engaged in a project but, because it's WAY below zero, we can't go outside and the kids are antzy. running happens. messes start to happen. i'm still working on the art project with my late arrivals. kids are hitting. kids are standing on tables and climbing up cots.
-13th kid shows up. her dad wants to chat a bit. i try. a kid gets hit in the head with a piece of wood by the new kid who thinks this is the norm. i never got another minute to talk to the new kid. explain things to him. help him. etc... he just gets to think chaos is the norm. he's at danger of becoming ANOTHER high risk child with examples like these, but i hadn't been given the tools to be allowed to help this child. dad keeps talking. another kid gets hit. dad leaves joking about how my hands are full.
-14th kid shows up.
-ten minutes later, 9:30 am, the woman, the mean cook, who's going to take over while i go on break comes in. she instantly starts BITCHING about how messy the room is and under her breath starts muttering stuff like, 'god. i'm so sick of all this shit. i'm sick of cleaning up everyone's messes.' and she just kept going on and on! then she started in on how bad it reeked in there! and that's when i lost it.
i had 14 children. 2 had diarrhea. 5 were high-risk to themselves and others. i had served breakfast. done a painting project. been legally above my ratio for over 45 minutes straight and a COWORKER had the nerve to come in and start complaining about the mess and smell! so, the staff doesn't care about the kids and teachers, my coworkers don't care about either, and i was supposed to care...why??
i just grabbed my stuff for and left for break. i cried a lot. and i didn't go back. i feel terrible i left my kids like that but they did know i was leaving. we talked about it, i sent letters home with them all, gave them my home address if they wanted to write and gave parents my email address. i hope they'll contact me...but if they don't, i'm sure it's because this all made me look terrible.
sigh.
one more day off i guess :) where will my camera and i venture off too for a day?? good LORD, i need some camera/coffee therapy time.
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