crazy, normal...what's the difference?

(my argoflex. mid 1940's. love the look down to shoot technique :) )

(my favorite film canon :) canon, ae-1, late 1970-early 1980's...just like me! complete with some fun filters and a couple great lenses. plus, she works beautifully with my 580 EX flash--purchased for my canon digi in 2010. within the next couple years...dark room)

When you are younger, the camera is like a friend and you can go places and feel like you're with someone, like you have a companion.
-Annie Leibovitz

so...i've been busy with all the social media stuff in order to promote myself a bit lately. the site is doing great. business cards are new, updated and beautiful. i'm undertaking new projects and veering from the norm, as well as seeking out more challenging topics to photograph. but my facebook and twitter pages seem to only be pumped up when i do something--which is cool...but, i wanted to give them some more substance. something richer. and when i talk, i sound like that fraggle...ya know, the artsy one who's always sighing? or, i sound really sharp and overly edgy. regardless, i have lots to say, but don't want to say it on my 'fan' pages, because i hate hearing me try to sound smart and i really don't want my 'fans' to think i'm an idiot.

so yeah, that lead me to quotes by photographers. they've been talkin' for years and documented for just as long. so, i started reading--and what i found was incredible and i never thought it could happen but i am more certain than ever that this is what i was meant to do. young, old, rich, poor, man, woman, film or digi...all 'real' photogs think alike*. seriously. in reading quotes, i felt like i was at some self-help seminar, nodding along as some loud guy with nice clothes and a drug addiction yelled over an agreeing crowd how, 'YES! you CAN succeed too!' yep. so, i sat in my office and time passed and i nodded and nodded and thought that wow...i was looking for a tweet and i got a complete guide to understanding my thoughts. this is amazing. and weird. definitely weird. (having a man from 1920 explain your exact thoughts while standing with your camera at your hip and feeling like a failure for not being able to find a moment to capture is amazingly comforting, believe it or not.)

anyway. the quote above. the one from ms. leibowitz. i found that one this morning. the photos i put on today's blog were taken last night. the photos i took last night were taken so i could add them to my 'family' photo album on facebook and in my personal collection. my camera's, i consider part of my family. they go with me places so i don't feel lonely. they honestly keep me company and when i saw that quote all i though was, 'oh crap. i have a problem. or, wait...maybe i'm normal?' regardless...it felt mostly good.

(okay...and also, the asterisk statement above...about being a 'real' photographer. i consider myself as 'real' of photographer, as any artist thinks themselves to be a 'real' artist. not too many do. they just do what they do because they literally have to. and sure, they like it when other people refer to them an artist. and they like to introduce themselves as artists, if the crowds right...but other than that, they avoid the term. however...i know plenty of people who flaunt themselves as artists and photographers and they're terrible at what they do and i'm not trying to be mean, really. but when you have to remind people constantly who you are and what you do, you're lacking something. and that's okay...there's lots of other stuff out there that you probably rock at but the people who have to try and try and try, yet merely come up with lackluster results, probably aren't natural. you should see me paint. i'm brushtarded. i can see things as a whole...but to make it come to life and to evoke any sort of emotion is impossible for me. yet i've watched people paint--and all i want to do is photograph it. because through my lens...i can evoke emotion. also...i'm rambling because i started feeling sightly egotistical up there and i despise that feeling. it leads to instant terrible karma and is a feeling that i would love to banish from my feelings depository...and with me seeing how i'm now veering even further from the point...i'm gonna end this blog.)