honk. beep. jerk.

(flash)

(flash)

(no flash)

so yesterday, right as i was getting home after an hour long commute, i thought...if i come around that turn and there's a giant alien stomping on cars, what i am going to do? i had no plan, so i quick made one and by the time i got to the corner had actually started envisioning what the monster will look like. turns out, there were no aliens after all, which was good--as my plan of playing dead seemed kind of weak anyway.

it was at that moment...i started to think of all the things that i had thought of in the last few minutes and i quick made a list of them, for bloggin purposes only. here are my blog safe thoughts...(i wanted to do the same today but my only thought, the whole way home, was definitely NOT blog-safe.)

1) country music sucks lately. like for the past couple of years, there's been very, very few memorable songs. they're all so freakin sappy. whatever happened to drunk country music sung by a guy in jail...

2) that new eminem song is terrible. he sounds like a stroke victim with half of his english accent left, who's also taking estrogen pills, which are causing his voice to rise. i'm sorry. that was mean. no, i'm not sorry. that song sucks. it sounds like he spliced two totally different songs together and then filled in the gaps with bad celebrity jokes he ripped off from the new guy doing stand-up at the local comedy club.

3) my ass is getting flat. i sit too much. (this thought only came after i had sat on the same spot of the highway for three minutes without so much as moving an inch. apparently, someone's car had stalled on the shoulder and everyone had to slow down because they had never seen a parked car before. jerks. my ass was getting flatter by the second.)

4) i hate chex mix so much. i love those gardetto things, but chex mix--disgusting. oh. i did try the turtle kind though. omg. that stuff is amazing. i actually ate a whole bag once--by accident. it was all there and then like 40 minutes later, it was gone.

5) i'm afraid i may be addicted to a cd. could that be possible? the songs that hurt are my favorite (lyrics example of one of them: "i know this hurts, it was meant to"--see what i mean? no? that's cool. me neither.) bottom line...i think i'm addicted to pain. not in a freaky way though. just in the way that it makes me think a lot better, deeper and more productive thoughts than when i'm happy. when i'm happy, i just smile stupidly and chirp along with that stupid taylor swift lady. (when i finally broke off the chains of addiction that that cd had had me tied up in, and turned on the top 40 station--love story was on...gotta love that taylor swift and her great music.) (no. i don't know either if i was being sarcastic there or not. i'm actually torn as to exactly what i feel about her.)

nowhere near brilliant

(nope...you don't get a photo tonight...you get a picture i colored. whatever. look, i just found out how to use a scanner. it's exciting. shut it)

i don't have much to say tonight. in fact, i don't even know why i'm on this page, typing these words into this computer. i was just drawn here. hold on, maybe i have something brilliant to say and i was meant to come here to let it out...hold on....um...wait...i can feel it...it's on the tip of my tongue...hold it...guess not. i really have nothing. i've thoroughly wasted my time; but, most of all, i've wasted yours. sorry.

now i feel like i should say something. OH. i got somethin. i had the strangest dreams last night. there was one with this abandoned lake house with a light colored wooden dock that bent to the left on a dusty blue/green pond, with spring green weeds all around it blowing lightly in the breeze. the sky was a dusty blue/grey/yellow combo (it was like a monet up to here) and then, there was a tornado that came out of nowhere and i had to break into the house to go down into the basement. for real. it was pretty intense. i think people died but i can't remember for sure. come to think of it, all of my dreams have been pretty crazy lately...vivid and full of story. wonder why?

ok...now i feel like i've told you something. it was a pretty stupid something, but it works.

i'm going to go keep listening to willie nelson now.

crash. ouch.

(i balled melon today)

so this week, i am planning the escape. it's gonna be a big one...life's gonna be changin for me in huge ways.
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damn. that sounded so dramatic...and then, i just sat here and stared at those words, wondering what the hell it is exactly that i'm doing and what action i'm taking to get where i want. yeah...so i blanked. i got nothin. i'm just doing lots of thinking and weighing worst case scenarios and wondering how hard it actually will be to get back up when i hit the ground. not saying i will for sure...i just know me. i fall a lot.

high as a vodka-smoked kite

(i got new glasses. they're the best)

my weekend is a workin weekend; it's my turn to be 'on'. i love the city on the weekend. *sigh* it's actually enjoyable...not just a buncha khaki-colored personalities dressed in office attire roaming around like zombies with cups of designer coffee they 'splurged' on because they just aren't happy lately. god i can't do it, i'm freakin out, i gotta escape before they get me...aaaahhhh! woody! help! get the zombies!! wait. what? yeah....next topic...

so, last night, i broke my no-more-alcohol clause by, well, drinking alcohol. i didn't drink much, just enough to make me feel invincible for 45 minutes before the reality of being human sunk in and i passed out. i felt fine this morning but not fine at the same time, ya know? i really don't like to drink. i wish you could just smoke vodka...wait, can you? i mean, i know you can't but could you...? that would be great.

*maybe*

(a shot of chocolate milk to go with yesterday's banana bread :))

i think *maybe* i found a fitting title. i'm so bad with titles...i can write until the cows come home but i can never think of a title. ever.

i also think maybe i found a new layout i'm satisfied with. *maybe*

this and that's that are very poorly organzied...

(did some bakin and picture takin on my days off...)

what do you about the new layout? i like the bright. i'm hoping i like my color photos as much on the new background as i do the black and whites. if i really don't, i may change layouts again shortly. i really do need a new title though...the old one annoyed me.



*sigh*

i guess all i have left to to is whine for a bit...exciting, i know. okay, here goes.

i have this odd eye thing happening. it's all red and sore and it's from one of, or a combination of, three things. i hit it, i got jalapeno in it and i tried to wash it with hand soap. don't know the exact cause, but i know it hurts.

my day was spent back to the norm after 3.5 beautiful, creative and domestic days off in a row. after work, i studied a dead pigeon for a bit and woulda poked it if it weren't for the norm 9-5ers watching and then i wandered down a scary, dirty, horror-movie-esque stairway. it was all with good company though so it didn't seem weird at the time--or creepy.

i'm having some strange health things happening that may require a doctor visit or i could be over-reacting. i'll give it another day and see what happens. i feel ok but my body is saying something else. like i said, i'm probably jumping the gun. we'll see...

hmmm...what else...? think those are the things fresh in my mind. my mind isn't working on a long-term basis apparently since those things all happened within the last 12 hours. but, whatev.

i still have heroes to watch tonight. gold, i tell ya. oh...i came up with a brilliant business plan for the above mentioned company that got me all excited and sparked some of my own creative juices. i'm still trying to convince him it's a good idea though. (why wouldn't a documentary about turning 30, selling your car, making a movie and buying and living in an RV be a great idea? a bi-weekly youtube/blog update...twittering to keep everyone updated on progress...come on! it's awesome--and free. i have this giant plan surrounding it. he thinks i'm insaner than normal.)

oh, oh, oh...AND, best of all...my guy got a job :)

it's like jeapordy! ok...not even a little...

let's play a game. like a game show game. it'll be called, 'iris's game of guess what happened to her this week.' okay. maybe that title's a bit long.

hell, let's try this weeks round...

did iris:
a) bang her camera into her head leaving a bruise on her forehead?
b) make pink chalk during a work meeting?
c) witness a major car crash in the intersection of the corner she was standing on?
d) walk four and a half blocks to her car only to realize she forgot her keys back at work?
e) get pee from a three-toed box turtle all of her foot?
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well, if you answered all of the above...you are correct. i don't have any prizes or anything. well, i guess your prize could be taking simple pleasure in knowing you probably had a more intelligent and mellow week than i did. though...in my defense, the turtle pee thing--well, i had no control over that one. (the girl handing me the turtle actually got the worst of it...i just got the blow back.)

d. to the e. to the l.i.c.i.o.u.s.

(like the new signature? i do too)

i had my favorite sandwich for lunch today. it was so delicious in fact, i had two of them. doesn't the picture just look scrumptious? i know...i thought so too.

here, let me give you the recipe...

white bread. buns are the yummiest for some reason.
cheese. real cheese--NOT kraft singles. they are delicious for lots, but not this sandwich.
mayonnaise.
garlic salt.
put two slices of cheese on your bread. microwave it until the cheese starts to melt and the bread is super soft. add a gob of mayo and sprinkle with garlic salt. enjoy.

oh! and then the best way to follow that up is with pretzels dipped in frosting.

ok...i'm a little embarrassed to be living up to that american dining stereo-type right now, but ya know what...every now and then...that's okay. especially on celebratory days like today...my favorite pants fit again. they were getting a little snug there... (seriously. i'm not lying.)

oh. it wasn't from the sandwiches though, since i can only eat like that once every other month or so without completely hating myself. it was actually from the mass amounts of wine i was consuming. go figure. it funny...ya sober up and not only do you not fall asleep at very inoppurtune times but you also lose weight. too bad my head is back to insane...

no spiders

not much to say today. i think my pics are more colorful than my thoughts tonight :) heehee. just kidding...no really though...they actually might be.

ya know what i didn't do at all today? pay attention to the clock. seriously...my alarm woke me up, i went to work. i realized around the time that i was getting hungry at work that i had a meeting, so i went. after that, i finished what needed to get done and i left. then i forgot to watch the time again. (though i got photos i somewhat enjoy...) and now, i think i might be tired. i should go to bed...though i have no idea what time it even is...

it's been a good day. irresponsible--but pretty damn carefree...and my mind is smiling because of it :)

i wanna talk about me, i wanna talk about i...

did some board game playin last night. apparently, i'm a bi-polar, narcissist--or at least that's the conclusion of the masses.

then again, that probably doesn't come as a surprise to too many who know me, huh?

whatta night...


oh crap. my last blog was alcohol pics too...

just a quick story

so, last night, three of us finished a bottle of tequila.

my head is super messy lately so, at 2:30 am i decided to go on a drunken, emotional rant. then the set of ears i was rambling to, passed out. it was probably for the better. definitely actually.

problem was, tequila makes me feel like i can run a marathon. seriously. i couldn't sleep, and everyone else was, so my lonely, crazy mind had all this time to swell. at 3:00, i decided i should just get up and shower and shave, it would feel good. plus, i wouldn't have to do it in the morning. at 3:30, i decided to upload photos, get some random editing done and check my e-mail. around 4:00, i finally fell asleep.

8:00 am, i bolt awake, can't go back to sleep, and decide i should just get up. once again, everyone else is passed out so my mind wanders and gets lost again. then, i heard birds outside and got super excited because the sun was out and the birds were singing; plus, with everyone still asleep, i had quiet time to grab a book, a lawn chair, a bottle of water and a granola bar, head outside and truly enjoy the morning--and that's what i did. my cloudy, yet wide awake, head and my wore out, yet ready-to-go body sat there for nearly a half an hour before the chill kicked in. apparently, it was 33 degrees. i decided to go inside and take the stove apart for a super deep cleaning instead.