bad bad leroy brown

can anyone explain to me what's happening in that pic? are they doin it? is the one on top eating the other one? did the one molt? like my tarantula...? (yes, i have a tarantula as a pet.) those two stayed like that, like, forever. i mean, you know how jumpy grasshoppers are...they actually let me--with my tripod--get that shot. it was weird. oh, speaking of weird...do you ever just get someone's music stuck in your head? i do. lately it's been jim croce. he was so amazing. i can't stop listening to him. too bad he died. in a plane crash. i need to make money. more money. my job pays crap. i'm getting real close to doing something real big...i can feel it. in fact, i just got a wonderful offer from a good old friend. she's an amazing creative writer who's trying to make a living doing it freelance...anyway, she offered to do any writing i need (website, flyers, etc...the stuff that always hangs me up) for free. in return, i offered her free photo work to help build her portfolio or for anything else she needs. i'm excited. i just need to find a course of action...

that's all i gots tonight. tomorrow is a party night so i probably won't blog. i plan to drink till my fingers can't type...

i will leave you with these parting words of advice though...

don't tug on superman's cape.
don't spit into the wind.
don't pull the mask off the old lone ranger and DON'T mess around with slim.

sleepy peepy

i don't have much to say tonight. i do have a great story for tomorrow or something, but tonight, well yeah...i'm going to bed. i'm tired. really tired.

laid off

there once was a man named mcswenson.
whose nose i would like to be punchin.
his boyfriend he kissed
so his nose i did miss
but his toes, well they took a good crunchin.

jerk.

if you had faith in anything other than the spandex of your bicycle shorts and keeping your homosexuality in the closet you might sense the evil glare karma is giving you right now.

jerk.

today

it snowed today and i talked to aaron today. saw my work in action at work today and tried to say hi to my mom today. i was a cat today and wore lots of black today. i ate cold pizza today and an amazing pomegranate too.

i'm not sure this makes any sense...

dia de los muertos...my birthday.

that explains a lot about me...maybe even my absolute love of the new shower curtain my fiance bought. despite the fact that we're too broke to be being new novelty shower curtains. *ahem*

oh yeah...sorry about last night. the wine happened. that palin girl didn't deserve that.
*cough * choke*

oh come on...be serious.

*heehee * heehee*

*holds breath*

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

no really. sorry.

i have no idea what just happened

(i felt like buying a fern today so i went to home depot and bought a fern today)

shit.

today i went to walmart and right now i'm eating nachos and drinking wine from a box.
this a'int right.

at least i'm still votin obama.

hmmm, well...but that there palin's lookin and soundin pretty dang convincin. bein she's a maverick and a woman and all. her five kids an that new born special needs baby are real lucky to have such a great mommy. good thing she's there for 'em. i bet she'd be real there for america too. and real smart. makin the choice to run for veep was real smart. she's a maverick. a real maverick. an real smart. good for her. what'a real strong woman. maybe i should vote for her. maybe then i'd be as smart as her. maybe i could be a strong mom too. it was so smart of mccain to pick 'er. i'm sure he was usin his smarts too. always lookin out for our country...i mean, when he dies in office he was so smart to make sure that that palin maverick will be there to lead us all. girl power! yay!



sorry.
i'm done now.

choo choooooooooo

(i got lost on my way home from work tonight. i had to pee so bad...and then, after an hour of driving...the long train happened)

*yawn*

(my cute little five year old girl loves her dads spawn toys)

please excuse the absence that i know will be coming this week. i'll still post pics but i'm tired. i help coordinate all the events at the museum i work for and this weekend we have our massive halloween parties. so far, we only have 600 or so people coming over the three days of festivities but i know that number will rise drastically. either way...it's a lot of work. i never feel caught up. there's always more to do. there's always more that should get done and i'm always going over things in my head with a fine tooth comb. it's quite exhausting.

not quite sure where i am...

...i am so detached from reality from today.

david duchovny, why don't you love me? part tres

(while out gallivanting around town...i came across this beautiful site)

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20233718,00.html

this (well, the contents of that link up there), in a selfish little way, made me happy.

don't get me wrong...i'm not happy about anyone divorcing and stuff--but now, he's free to marry me :)

just wait til i'm 80...

(i'm so busy, i'm deathly afraid i'm missing all the autumn...)

i hate that i am so stupid. i mean, i'm really very smart and creative and well, if i do say so myself, funny...but i can be so stupid.

why i'm going to tell you this i don't know but, well, here goes...i just went to our vending machine here at work. i'm sick and i have a gigantic sweet tooth when i get sick. i wanted some cookies. so i went to put my change in and my first thought was 'cool, we got a new vending machine...i bet some kid broke the other one.' and so i put in my quarter and it started spitting my money back out at me. i looked down in the change compartment and thought 'sweet, someone left money in here--but darn, i bet it's broken.' then i realized they were all nickles and my quarter was gone and then, no shit, i realized i had stuck my money in the change machine, not the vending machine. the nickles were actually the broken down remnants of my quarter, not something someone had left behind. the thing is, is that i'm so ho-hum about it all, i just shrug my shoulders and move on. i never feel embarassed or angry. i really just shrug and walk away from my stupidity. i just don't surprise myself any more with the idiotic thigs i do.

then there's the whole key issue i mentioned yesterday. my wonderful, incredible, sweet and most of all, patient fiance found them. after digging through garbage and searching for hours, he found them. i had put them in the recipe box. why? i have no clue. why i would stop and think, hey...i should stick these keys in with the chocolate chip cookie recipe for safe keeping is beyond me. or for that matter, why i constantly put the salt in the fridge, carry the remote control everywhere with me or crash head first into garage doors while thinking of good ideas is beyond me too.

in fact, while writing this, i reached my hand into the pocket of my sweatshirt looking for my chapstick only to find a fishing lure. seriously. i had this sweatshirt with me on labor day weekend and i did a lot of fishing. last week i found it in the garage and threw it in the laundry. today i find the lure all hooked up in there...the lure i had spent about an hour looking for on labor day--only to come to the conclusion that i must have dropped it in the water. i was even careful of it while swimming...just in case. i wonder why i never looked in my pocket? then again, why would you put hooks in your pocket anyway?

*sigh*

why does claire need a seatbelt?

(i stayed home sick today. my kid and i made lots of worms...she told me i stayed home 'crafty')

so do you want to hear the worst thing i've done in recent history? ok...here goes. i lost the keys to my neighbors house.

see, i'm house sitting while she's gone, you know...feeding the cat and fish and stuff. i was there yesterday and now today, the keys are gone. just gone. i would normally call her to see if there's a spare around but her phone number is locked in her house. on her fridge. i have to get in there tomorrow somehow otherwise the cat will probably eat the fish and my neighbor will hate me. i like her and don't want her to hate me.

how could a key just disappear in one day? i wasn't even home most of yesterday. damn.

i'm good at breaking in but that would be so embarrassing if i got caught. i'll sleep on it i spose. that usually solves everything.

snug as a bug in a rug

(right after this picture...the incident happened)

ok, so i was walking along today. breathing in an out like normal when, out of nowhere, this asian beetle bug hurled itself straight at me and launched his stupid buggy self right up my nose. asian beetles are those orange-y lady bugs that bite, that stain if you squish 'em, that i hate, and that apparently, fit really perfectly (and really tightly) right up noses.

so, without missing a beat, and without freaking too bad, i plugged the clear nostril and blew that stupid little bug right back out with all my might; he was jammed in there pretty good. he shot out, hit the ground pretty hard and layed there for a second before jumping back up (looking quite disoriented may i add), and flying away.

i think he was drunk.

*yawn*

i washed my truck today and then dried it.

two minuted later, it sprinkled. just a little. but enough to make a lot of water spots.

i dried it again.

five minutes later, it poured.

i dried it yet again.

yeah...that was a good chunk of my day.

*sigh*

you are my sunshine

i received these beautiful flowers tonight from an even more beautiful friend. she's going through incredibly hard stuff right now but still thought about me...knowing i've been down.

i really want to be more like her. i hope someday to be close...she's a great goal to have :)

thank you. tonight, your company and your thoughtfulness touched me more than you know.

see ya in seven

(this is from two years ago but i still love it...)

so, my best friend's gone. to iraq. i knew the day would come when he'd call me to say the plane's about to leave, but i avoided thinking about it.

he called me yesterday around 7 am to say that final goodbye. it was 5 am his time. he had been pretty wasted a few hours previous to that but the little bit of sleep he had had, had taken the edge off the drunk apparently. he sounded pretty good. i didn't really know the right words to say. hey...watch out for bombs, i hear they fall out of the sky over there. or, hey...look out for them terrorists, i think they think they're at war. everything sounded stupid, so i mostly sat there thinking about the silence...and trying to not sound like an idiot when i did finally find some words. we finally said good-bye, and said our i love you's, and said our be good's, and said our i'll miss you's and such.

i know he'll be fine. he's only there for seven months and most of my misery over this is self-centered. i've spoke to him at least once a day for ten years now. we lived together for about three of those years. my kid adores him and i'm at a bit of a loss when my 'regular' becomes irregular. i'm not so swift in the change department, ok? i feel like i just lost my favorite shoes. the ones i wear every day and depend on for comfort. you know...the one's that fit your feet the best.

and then these unthinkable thoughts get in my brain and i can't get them out. i shake my head and i think of things like shopping and unpaid bills to distract myself, but nothing works too well. i left in the middle of my workshop yesterday to go just cry. i didn't want to look like a weirdo in front of all of my co-workers and i couldn't hold it in. i'm scared to death that, at best case scenerio, he'll change. he's so perfect the way he is. i always picture this picture i had of him, maybe 6, on his birthday, with red balloons, a cowboy hat, a holster (complete with cap gun), a giant smile, some cowboy boots, cute little dumbo ears and wearing nothing but undies. it was so him and still is.

like i said, i know he'll be fine; i know everyone must think the worst when someone they love goes to war. i just keep writing him, just like during boot camp. i write everyday. when i'm bored, or stressed, or saw something hillarious that i need to share, or saw something incredibly stupid that i need to share, or, well, just whenever. i just continue it on one piece of paper and send it all toward the end of the week. i send pictures and stuff too. he said, in bootcamp, it really helped him feel connected. i can't wait to send him actual packages of stuff and i can't wait to start christmas shopping for him! last year, i got him lots of things to do on airplanes because he was traveling a lot. this year...well, i'll ask him what he misses most.

so yeah...that's about that. he's in iraq now. i am so proud of him. he's a world away, and he's a marine, and he's my best friend and he's living a pretty incredible adventure. but damn do i miss him.

bookin a day in advance

(HE will be tomorrow's post...)

eh. i don't feel like talking about yesterday's post. i should though, huh...? since i said i would.

ok, so anyway...there was this guy who called my work; he wanted to propose to his girlfriend there. i was all like yeah, whatever...you have to pay admission blah, blah, blah...i'll see what i can do, if i can do anything at all. my boss and co-worker, however, talked to him during my weekend and were all like, awwwww...that is SO sweet! you can come in on sunday like you wanted, iris will be there and will do whatever you need to make your special day work and don't worry about a thing, or admission, or anything; she'll do it all. (ok, so it wasn't exactly like that...but whatever.)

anyway, on my monday...all i got in my 'notes', was that he left a fake 'prize' at my cube that he told her he 'won' in a drawing and that he needed to come into the museum to pick it up...i would have to figure out the rest. so yeah, while rolling my eyes...i wrote up a congratulatory letter telling him to enjoy his new games with his family (i made up some family outreach thing to encourage play time outside of the museum, yada, yada, yada.) see, his goal was to somehow get her into the museum to pop the question. i attached some museum logo stuff to the package i wrapped his 'prizes' in and attatched the letter (hence yesterday's photo). when they got to the museum i told him that with our 'family outreach program' we typically give out free tickets to the museum but since they didn't have kids, and since the weather was rainy and cold, they were more than welcome to come in and look around. (he was a slightly bumbly fellow and i saw him start to panic at this point...later, i found out that he wasn't sure i knew about the plan and thought i was serious. that explained his incessant winking around that same time.) i gave him his 'prizes' and sent them on their way. his girlfriend was completely clueless. in fact, she seemed slightly annoyed that he insisted they utilize the free passes and looked like she wanted to leave. i encouraged her to loosen up and have some fun. at one point, i thought she might tell me to shut up or better yet, smack me.

ten minutes later, i get a call from security saying he was asking for me. (i made it clear to him that i had left my personal number on his congratulatory letter--in case he needed anything or had any questions.) i walked back up front, slightly rolling my eyes again, to find the girlfriend, now fiance, happily chirping away on her cell phone to some other chirpy woman i'm sure. the guy was in this fluttery sort of, in-love-she-actually-said-yes-i'm-getting-married sort of shock. it was undeniably sweet...not in a roll your eyes sort of way, but in an ouch-my-teeth-hurt kind of way. they both gave me massive props on my fibbing abilities that made me feel good. in an, i-shouldn't-be-proud-of-this sort of way, and that was that. i did my part in a stranger's life and my good deed for the day. yay.

from the girl that refuses to watch a romantic comedy because she despises them, it was actually cute...not in a heather grahm/matthew mc conoughhey sort of way though, but in a meg ryan/tom hanks kinda way, i think.

oh, for the record, my favorite romatic comedy sorta flick is true romance. there's lots of blood...and tony soprano gets a cork screw in the toe.

oh yeah...it's a sappy one too...

i will blog about this picture tomorrow.

see...it's a strange, and somewhat long story, that if i get into now, could take me until quite possibly 11:00 and i need to sleep--instead of blogging about the strange and somewhat long story surrounding that picture.

i hate the last day of my weekend

geez. i just don't have anything to write tonight. it sucks. all day i've been thinking about all these things i wanted to say and then when i layed down, i went blank. (i don't really think layed is a word, is it?)


well, i did a lot today and ate a lot too.

hmmm...that's all i got i guess.

wow. that was pretty lame...it reminds me of a second graders journal entry.

ouch

(a flu germ)

(i don't know what this is but it was SO cool)

not the best pics tonight--but i spent the day at the science museum so you get what ya get.

so, i got a tetanus shot the other day and i am having a lousy reaction. it sucks. i hate typing because i pretty much do it all left handed lately...one finger, left-handed. which is cool, but it takes forever to write one sentence.

i'm going to bed. me and my sore arm will hopefully sleep better tonight.

yuck...shiver...

(some of the last flowers in my yard...)

yeah, so instead of caring too much about the stupid (ok, important) v.p. debate tonight, i got drunk, played mario kart and ate skittles instead.

look, i've been at work for the last 12 days of my life. two days off is worth the jim beam. (i hate that shit btw...)