i swear. i'm not lying.

(another oldie. montana...maybe 2001. or so...)

uugh. so i feel like an ass after yesterdays post and then today's issues.

my truck has been stupid lately. sometimes, it won't start. it just clicks instead. it's only happened a couple of times but when it happens, there's no telling when it's gonna start up again. i've been petrified that i'm gonna get stuck downtown in a parking ramp and miss picking up my kid from school.

anyway, this morning, as i tried to leave for work--it just clicked. i had to call in. see...i knew there was a reason i wasn't supposed to call in yesterday.

*sigh*

ugh. apparently, when you give notice at your job...it's really hard to want to keep going in to do your job. i mean, i still care about it my job and everything--i just actually have to make myself care about it now.

for example: this morning it was raining, so i seriously considered calling in sick so i could listen to it in bed. i checked the traffic report because if the rain was majorly slowing things down, i was going to call in. it wasn't. so i laid there and thought all about the pros and cons of calling in--and there was nothing too convincing on either side of the argument. so i laid there some more and thought if there was anything i really needed to do at home. there wasn't. and i thought if there was anything i really needed to do at work, there wasn't either. so i just laid there and stared at the ceiling some more and then with a big sigh, decided: i have nothing better to do today...i might as well just go to work. and i did.

when all i had was film

(chicago...late 90's or early 00's)

(new orleans...'98)

(chicago...again, no idea when...'01 maybe...?)

today, i found a scanner and finally got some old stuff on my computer. i always forget how important having a camera was to me, even back then.

it's actually refreshing. sometimes, i feel like just another suburb-dweller with a digital camera. not that i'm anything better than them...i'm just shootin a little more than easter dinner. why did i just pick easter dinner as an example? who knows. i'm freakin exhausted. i'm not even sure what i'm trying to say...

i missed me

so. i'm back. i guess i'm back to good--lots of inspiration flowing through me and positivity too.

oh. and i quit my 9-5 job.

funny how different both sentence topics are, yet amazing how closely intertwined they've become.

no. i don't have a plan really either. well, unless you consider 'find way to make money' a plan, that is...